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You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again

You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again
Author: Heather McDonald
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 274
Release: 2010-05-20
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1439176302

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New York Times bestselling author, comedian, and Chelsea Lately writer Heather McDonald’s hilarious true story of finding herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin at the age of twenty-seven. Can’t a girl dress like a hooker, dance like a stripper, and kiss like a porn star and still be a nineteen-year-old virgin? You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do “it” until well after her friends had been deflowered. As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, “Thank God Heather waited twenty-seven years to lose her virginity or she wouldn’t have any material for this book.” Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike “putting out,” blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love—and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again.


A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again

A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again
Author: David Foster Wallace
Publisher: Back Bay Books
Total Pages: 546
Release: 2009-11-23
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0316090522

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These widely acclaimed essays from the author of Infinite Jest -- on television, tennis, cruise ships, and more -- established David Foster Wallace as one of the preeminent essayists of his generation. In this exuberantly praised book -- a collection of seven pieces on subjects ranging from television to tennis, from the Illinois State Fair to the films of David Lynch, from postmodern literary theory to the supposed fun of traveling aboard a Caribbean luxury cruiseliner -- David Foster Wallace brings to nonfiction the same curiosity, hilarity, and exhilarating verbal facility that has delighted readers of his fiction, including the bestselling Infinite Jest.


Hit and Run

Hit and Run
Author: Nancy Griffin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 496
Release: 2016-01-12
Genre: Performing Arts
ISBN: 1439128049

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Hit and Run tells the improbable and often hilarious story of how two Hollywood film packagers went on a campaign to reinvent themselves as studio executives -- at Sony's expense. Veteran reporters Nancy Griffin and Kim Masters chronicle the rise of Jon Peters, a former hairdresser, seventh-grade dropout, and juvenile delinquent, and his soulless soul mate, Peter Guber -- and all the sex, drugs, and fistfights along the way. It is the story of the ultimate Hollywood con job and the standard by which every subsequent business blunder has been measured. Hit and Run delivers rock-solid business reporting liberally laced with inside gossip and outrageous scandal -- plus a new afterword bringing us up to date on the latest fallout from the Guber-Peters legacy.


Has Anyone Seen My Pants?

Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
Author: Sarah Colonna
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 288
Release: 2015-03-31
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1476771928

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New York Times bestselling author Sarah Colonna is back with a hilarious, honest look at life in her late thirties--in all its messy, pants-missing glory.


Life As I Blow It

Life As I Blow It
Author: Sarah Colonna
Publisher: Villard
Total Pages: 258
Release: 2012-02-07
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0345528379

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In this wickedly funny and irreverent memoir, Chelsea Lately writer and comedian Sarah Colonna opens up about love, life, and pursuing her dreams . . . and then screwing it all up. Sarah believes we all struggle to grow up. Sometimes we want to have fun, not take things too seriously, and have that fourth margarita. Other times we would like to get married, stay in, order Chinese food, and have a responsible, secure life. From her formative years in small-town Arkansas to a later career of dates, drinks, and questionable day jobs, Colonna attempts to reconcile her responsible side with her fun-loving side. Sometimes this pans out, and sometimes she finds herself in Mexico handing out her phone number to anyone who calls her pretty. She moves to Los Angeles to pursue acting, but for years is forced to hone her bartending skills; she wants a serious boyfriend, but won’t give up nights at the bar with her friends. She tries to behave like an adult, but can’t seem to stop acting like a frat boy. In the end, she discovers that there doesn’t have to be just one or the other. And if there’s one thing Colonna has learned from her many missteps, it’s that hindsight is always 100 proof. Includes a Foreword by Chelsea Handler


Make Me Even

Make Me Even
Author: Jerrold Fine
Publisher: Open Road Media
Total Pages: 315
Release: 2022-10-04
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1504080599

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For one 1970s teenager, winning at poker and winning on Wall Street go hand-in-hand: “A coming-of-age story for the ages.” —Peter Lattman, vice chairman, The Atlantic In the wake of his mother’s death, Rogers Stout has no choice but to grow up fast. By high school, he already has the gambler’s gifts: a titanic brain, an uncanny ability to read people, and a risk-taker’s daring. All he lacks is direction . . . Everything changes the summer before his senior year when Rogers is invited into the boisterous environment of an investment bank’s trading room—and to a gambling hall dive where he immediately wins big at poker, capturing the attention of his coworkers with his card-playing skills. Intrigued by trading markets, Rogers’s intellectual curiosity takes him to Wharton and then Wall Street, where he faces challenges as an outsider who thinks and acts differently from the white-shoe establishment. Riding professional and personal highs and lows—like the stock market crash of 1974—he’ll have to learn to rebound, if he’s to survive . . . An intriguing look at human aspiration and the interplay of honor, greed, fear, and individuality, this novel reveals a time when a new generation upended the status quo on Wall Street and forever changed investing. “A rip-roaring yarn of baseball, poker, and Wall Street told with humor and humanity, and a loving rendering of Wharton in the seventies.” —Geoffrey Garrett, dean, The Wharton School “[An] absorbing story of an aspiring Wall Street trader.” —Kirkus Reviews


We Have Always Lived in the Castle

We Have Always Lived in the Castle
Author: Shirley Jackson
Publisher: Lightyear Press
Total Pages: 0
Release: 1990
Genre: Cousins
ISBN: 9780899685328

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Merricat Blackwood protects her sister, Constance, from the curiosity and hostility of the villagers after murders occur on the family estate.


You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again

You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again
Author: Heather McDonald
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 224
Release: 2010-05-20
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1439176302

Download You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle

New York Times bestselling author, comedian, and Chelsea Lately writer Heather McDonald’s hilarious true story of finding herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin at the age of twenty-seven. Can’t a girl dress like a hooker, dance like a stripper, and kiss like a porn star and still be a nineteen-year-old virgin? You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do “it” until well after her friends had been deflowered. As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, “Thank God Heather waited twenty-seven years to lose her virginity or she wouldn’t have any material for this book.” Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike “putting out,” blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love—and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again.


The Blue Cat of Castle Town

The Blue Cat of Castle Town
Author: Catherine Cate Coblentz
Publisher: Courier Dover Publications
Total Pages: 131
Release: 2017-07-18
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0486815277

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"The blue cat is like a knight on a quest. His quest is to find a hearth to fit the song the river taught him and to teach the owner of the hearth to sing that song"--Jacket.


Made You Up

Made You Up
Author: Francesca Zappia
Publisher: Harper Collins
Total Pages: 194
Release: 2015-05-19
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 0062290126

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Reality, it turns out, is often not what you perceive it to be—sometimes, there really is someone out to get you. For fans of Silver Linings Playbook and Liar, this thought-provoking debut tells the story of Alex, a high school senior—and the ultimate unreliable narrator—unable to tell the difference between real life and delusion. Alex fights a daily battle to figure out what is real and what is not. Armed with a take-no-prisoners attitude, her camera, a Magic 8 Ball, and her only ally (her little sister), Alex wages a war against her schizophrenia, determined to stay sane long enough to get into college. She's pretty optimistic about her chances until she runs into Miles. Didn't she imagine him? Before she knows it, Alex is making friends, going to parties, falling in love, and experiencing all the usual rites of passage for teenagers. But Alex is used to being crazy. She's not prepared for normal. Can she trust herself? Can we trust her?