To The Rude Guy In Apartment Five PDF Download
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Author | : J. S. Cooper |
Publisher | : J.S. Cooper |
Total Pages | : 205 |
Release | : 2021-01-01 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
Download To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle
To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five, I’m glad you’re happy to have moved into a new apartment, but no: I do not want to have a beer with you. I do not want to have a nude sleepover. I do not want to make you breakfast, lunch or dinner, no matter how many lap dances you promise to give me. I do not need you to serenade me through the walls at 1am. And no, I have no interest in letting you take me on a date. Sincerely, Magnolia Allen P.S. And no, I do not want to know how many accents you can growl in during intimate moments. How is that even a thing? P. P. S. Also, you will never find me standing naked in your living room ever again, so please stop leaving lingerie packages on my welcome mat.
Author | : J. S. Cooper |
Publisher | : |
Total Pages | : 212 |
Release | : 2020-04 |
Genre | : Man-woman relationships |
ISBN | : |
Download To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle
To The Rude Guy in Apartment Five, I'm glad you're happy to have moved into a new apartment, but no: I do not want to have a beer with you.I do not want to have a nude sleepover.I do not want to make you breakfast, lunch or dinner, no matter how many lap dances you promise to give me.I do not need you to serenade me through the walls at 1am.And no, I have no interest in letting you take me on a date.Sincerely, Magnolia AllenP.S. And no, I do not want to know how many accents you can growl in during intimate moments. How is that even a thing?P. P. S. Also, you will never find me standing naked in your living room ever again, so please stop leaving lingerie packages on my welcome ma
Author | : Toni Schlesinger |
Publisher | : Chronicle Books |
Total Pages | : 337 |
Release | : 2012-04-17 |
Genre | : Architecture |
ISBN | : 156898670X |
Download Five Flights Up Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle
A flop house, a pumping station, a maid's room, a homeless center, a former brothel, a Richard Meier building, a circus trailer, a sail boat, a skyscraper, buildings named Esther and Loraine—just a few of the places New Yorkers call home. For the past eight years writer Toni Schlesinger has been bringing us these "conversation places" in her weekly column in the Village Voice. Through her incisive questioning, original writing, and comic parallel reveries, Schlesinger creates miniature documentaries on the lives, passions, hopes, and heartbreaks of many of New York City's millions
Author | : J. S. Cooper |
Publisher | : J.S. Cooper |
Total Pages | : 220 |
Release | : 2021-01-01 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
Download To My Arrogant Boss Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle
To Mr. Tate Howard, You are quite possibly the most infuriating, annoying and grumpy man I’ve ever met in my life. I know you think that you’re God’s gift to women, but I have a secret to let you in on: you’re not. You’re God’s gift to yourself. Get over your wanna-be cool surfer self and grow up. I thought it was time that someone addressed your big head and told you straight to your face that you're not all that. Just because you have an Ivy league education doesn’t mean you’re the smartest man in the world. In fact, I’m not even sure if you would have gotten in if you didn’t have rich parents. Yes, I went there. Every woman doesn’t want to sleep with you and I’m sure you’re not even good in bed. And I’m someone that would know. From, Your Secret Not Admirer
Author | : J. S. Cooper |
Publisher | : J.S. Cooper |
Total Pages | : 265 |
Release | : 2021-01-01 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
Download To My First And Last One Night Stand Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle
To Marco (No, I’m not going to add Polo), Last night was a mistake. A big mistake. Or should I say small? I don’t want to hurt your ego. I should have listened to your sister. You’re insufferable and rude and far too cocky. Don’t worry. I won’t be telling anyone what happened because as far as I’m concerned it never did. Please stop calling me. I do not need to come and collect my bra from you. Or the t-shirt you lent me to sleep in when I got cold. And no, that one act doesn’t make you a gentleman. Far from it. Also, I do not need to have your smell near me to fall asleep. In fact, your shirt does the opposite. It gives me nightmares. Millie P.S. No, I do not want a repeat of last night at my office. I don’t care if that’s your fantasy or not. Stop texting me your fantasies, by the way. P.P.S. The texts I sent you this morning were drunk texts. I was still hungover. Do not construe them as anything else. P.P.P.S. Could you have given me any more love bites? There was no need to “mark your territory” because I am not yours!
Author | : J. S. Cooper |
Publisher | : J.S. Cooper |
Total Pages | : 177 |
Release | : 2021-01-01 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
Download To My Brother's Cocky Best Friend Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle
To My Brother’s Cocky Best Friend, Tyler Redwood, you might be my brother’s best friend, but I find you to be insufferable, cocky, arrogant, immature, and totally annoying. You are not God’s gift to women and certainly not a gift to me. No, I don’t need you to wrap yourself in a bow. And even if you did, I would not be unwrapping it. I have no interest in seeing or touching your six pack and no, I don’t need you to teach me the hidden lessons of the Kama Sutra. Go and find another woman to bother and flirt with. I am not interested at all. Not even a little bit. Olivia Olivia, I have seven words for you. That’s not what you said last night. Tyler
Author | : J. S. Cooper |
Publisher | : J.S. Cooper |
Total Pages | : 233 |
Release | : 2020-09-08 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
Download To Whom It May Concern Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle
To Whom it May Concern, I would like to request more information about the assistant job I saw advertised in Sunday’s newspaper with the six figure starting salary. I have a bachelors degree in English and many years of work experience and think I would be a good fit for the job. My questions are as follows: 1. What is the exact nature of the job? 2. Is it a strict requirement that I live with the boss? If so, can I have friends and others over? 3. The ad states there is a uniform. May I ask what sort of uniform? And why? Also, in lieu of sending a photograph, I’ve sent a picture of my very friendly dog that would also be joining me if I were to get the job. Yours Sincerely, Savannah Carter *** Ms. Carter, How do you know you’ll be a good fit for the job if you do not know the nature of the work? My ad specifically stated I was looking for an MBA grad, not an English grad that knows nothing about the real world. 1. This would be discussed in the interview. 2. Yes, you would be living with me. And no guests are allowed. 3. The uniform would be provided on your first day. You don’t need to know why. The job advertisement asked for a personal photo, is this your way of telling me you look like a dog? Today must be your lucky day because you’re the only person that responded to my ad. Are you available for a phone interview tomorrow? The Wade Hart This is book one of a duet. The second and final book is Return To Sender.
Author | : J. S. Cooper |
Publisher | : J.S. Cooper |
Total Pages | : 259 |
Release | : |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : |
Download Worst Date Ever Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle
“Go on a date,” she said. “You’ll love it,” she said. She was wrong! It had been one year, two months and seventeen days since my last date. So my best friend Abby decided to sign me up for a dating app. She guaranteed that she could get me the best date of my life within one week. I didn’t really want to do it, but I figured what did I have to lose? Turns out that I had: 1. $500 2. My dignity 3. My patience and 4. My innocence to lose OK, so I didn’t really have my innocence to lose, but believe you me, Jack Morrison was my worst date ever. And I’ve been on a lot of bad dates. Trust me when I say that that was the longest ten hours and 33 minutes of my life. I never wanted to see or speak to him again. But it turns out you don’t always get what you want in life, because Jack showed up the very next day at a family gathering I was attending as a fake plus one. As you can imagine that was a real pickle, Jack wanted to know why I went on a date with him when I’m dating someone else. But he can’t know the whole complicated truth of the matter. I’m in a fake relationship and now I’m being blackmailed by the worst date ever. That’s not even the worst part. I decided to log onto this new app called “confession board” to seek some advice, but it turns out Jack Morrison is absolutely everywhere and he’s not going to leave me alone until I submit to his demands.
Author | : Anne Stuart |
Publisher | : MIRA |
Total Pages | : 409 |
Release | : 2010-08-01 |
Genre | : Fiction |
ISBN | : 1426864019 |
Download Ruthless Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle
Few outsiders will ever witness the dark misdeeds of the Heavenly Host. And among this secret society, where exiled Georgian aristocrats gather to indulge their carnal desires, fewer still can match the insatiable appetite of their chief provocateur, the mysterious Viscount Rohan. Pursuit of physical pleasure is both his preferred pastime and his most pressing urge, until he encounters the fascination of a woman who won't be swayed. And while his dark seduction appalls the pure and impoverished Elinor Harriman, she finds herself intrigued…and secretly drawn to the man behind the desire.
Author | : Adam Carolla |
Publisher | : Crown |
Total Pages | : 274 |
Release | : 2011-05-17 |
Genre | : Humor |
ISBN | : 0307717380 |
Download In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks Book in PDF, ePub and Kindle
A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.