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The Mammoth Book of Filthy Limericks

The Mammoth Book of Filthy Limericks
Author: Glyn Rees
Publisher: Running Press
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2009-12-22
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9780762437306
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This hilariously inappropriate collection of rhymes is sure to provide ammunition to use at the office or even at a party among friends. You'll never have to repeat a line from this collection of more than 2,000 dirty verses. Perfect for St. Patty's Day or any time year-round!

The Mammoth Book of Limericks

The Mammoth Book of Limericks
Author: Glyn Rees
Publisher: Running Press
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2008-10-28
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9780762433957
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This is the best-ever collection of those catchy Irish rhymes – from squeaky-clean to the moderately filthy. With over 2,000 silly, political, modern, classic, and more to choose from, there is bound to be a limerick to get you giggling. This giant collection includes Irish classics called out in corner pubs for decades as well as many new verses specifically created to be read here. Creators include Spike Milligan, Mark Twain, Michael Palin, Lewis Carroll, Isaac Asimov, Robert Louis Stevenson, Rudyard Kipling, W.H. Auden, and many, many more.

The Onion Presents A Book of Jean's Own!

The Onion Presents A Book of Jean's Own!
Author: Jean Teasdale
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Total Pages: 272
Release: 2010-10-12
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1429951826
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A few words from the author and eponymous columnist behind The Onion's column, "A Room of Jean's Own," Jean Teasdale: Hi Jeanketeers and Jeanketeers-to-be!! As The Onion's very own Humor and Human-Interest columnist, I've been entertaining readers for 15 years with kooky tales of life with my hubby and our two feline children. Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!) A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to! Among the many nuggets of fun: * I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name! * I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting! * Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own! * Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs! * You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party! * Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree! * Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!) * Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!) I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!

A Sackful of Limericks

A Sackful of Limericks
Author: Michael Palin
Publisher: Random House
Total Pages: 96
Release: 2016-10-06
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1473538432
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If you've ever wondered what happened to the young fellow from Malta who bought his grandfather an altar... If you're concerned about the camper called Jack who found a huge snake in his pack... And if you suspect that an eccentric landowner called Grey spent Christmas a very strange way but aren't sure precisely what that entailed... Then a dip into Michael Palin's Sackful of Limericks will provide all the answers – and a lot of fun besides.

The Crossover

The Crossover
Author: Kwame Alexander
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Total Pages: 245
Release: 2014
Genre: Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN: 0544107713
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New York Times bestseller ∙ Newbery Medal Winner ∙Coretta Scott King Honor Award ∙2015 YALSA 2015 Top Ten Best Fiction for Young Adults∙ 2015 YALSA Quick Picks for Reluctant Young Adult Readers ∙Publishers Weekly Best Book ∙ School Library Journal Best Book∙ Kirkus Best Book "A beautifully measured novel of life and line."--The New York Times Book Review "With a bolt of lightning on my kicks . . .The court is SIZZLING. My sweat is DRIZZLING. Stop all that quivering. Cuz tonight I'm delivering, " announces dread-locked, 12-year old Josh Bell. He and his twin brother Jordan are awesome on the court. But Josh has more than basketball in his blood, he's got mad beats, too, that tell his family's story in verse, in this fast and furious middle grade novel of family and brotherhood from Kwame Alexander. Josh and Jordan must come to grips with growing up on and off the court to realize breaking the rules comes at a terrible price, as their story's heart-stopping climax proves a game-changer for the entire family.

Out Of Control

Out Of Control
Author: Kevin Kelly
Publisher: Basic Books
Total Pages: 528
Release: 2009-04-30
Genre: Science
ISBN: 078674703X
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Out of Control chronicles the dawn of a new era in which the machines and systems that drive our economy are so complex and autonomous as to be indistinguishable from living things.

The Great British Limerick Book

The Great British Limerick Book
Author: Lewis Williams, Ass
Publisher:
Total Pages: 320
Release: 2015-04-16
Genre:
ISBN: 9780993247200
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Surely it can't be done. But it has been done. For the first time in the history of mankind someone has been dedicated enough and fool enough to write a filthy limerick for every town in the UK which unlike Leeds or Devizes doesn't already have a classic filthy limerick to call its own. From Land's End to John o' Groats, The Great British Limerick Book has a filthy limerick for your town, for your uncle's town, for your cousin's husband's ex-wife's town .... as long as it's in the UK and as long as it isn't one of those few places that are really impossible to find a rhyme for. There are over 900 limericks in the book. A lot of them are hilarious. Most of them are very funny. All of them are filthy. Guildford, Surrey. At McDonald's in Guildford in Surrey, I spilt coffee on my crotch in a scurry, I had to act quick, To cool down my dick, So I stuck it into my McFlurry. Nuneaton, Warwickshire. There was a young man from Nuneaton, Who really enjoyed being beaten, And squeezing his knackers, With a pair of nut crackers, And riding a bike with no seat on. Bath, Somerset. There was a professor from Bath, Who employed twenty-five research staff, To measure size and direction, Of his every erection, And to plot the results on a graph. The Isle of Skye, Scotland. When I was on the Isle of Skye, I overdid the old Spanish fly, I had a stiff member, From the fourth of December, Till Friday the tenth of July. Ashington, Northumberland. In Ashington there was a miner, Whose wife was a fashion designer, One night to his shock, She dressed him up as a cock, And herself as a six foot vagina. Hackney, Greater London. As a chemist I worked once in Hackney, And invented a treatment for acne, But one ingredi-ent, Was semen I'd spent, And they thought that good reason to sack me.

The Mammoth Book of Limericks

The Mammoth Book of Limericks
Author: Glyn Rees
Publisher: Constable
Total Pages: 589
Release: 2008
Genre: Limericks
ISBN: 9781845296810
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The most enduringly popular poetical verse form in the English language is very much alive and well. This monster volume of 2,000 limericks ranges from clean to (moderately) filthy, all guaranteed to make you laugh! It contains limericks that are historical, geographical, whimsical, clerical, medical and many more. This giant collection includes limericks by such names as Edward Lear, Isaac Asimov, Robert Louis Stevenson, Rudyard Kipling, William Shakespeare, H.G. Wells, John Betjeman, Ogden Nash, Spike Milligan, and others. As well as a treasure trove of completely new and original verse, generated specially for this volume. You'll find plenty of modern gems - limericks relevant to today's world, such as computers, mobile phones, foreign travel, traffic congestion, unfair taxation, the cult of celebrity, overpaid sports players, environmental issues. Plus 'old favourites' in every category you can think of, including: Limerick limericks, Family, Children's limericks (for children and by children), Food and Drink, Sporty, Clever (including tongue twisters), Silly, Arty, Animal, Showbiz (including theatre, film and TV), Musical, Medical, Historical, Miscellaneous (including royalty, travel, occupations, college, crime, fashion, politics, celebrity, garden and religion), Memorial, Naughty, and Naughtier.

Giggles in the Middle

Giggles in the Middle
Author: Jane Bell Kiester
Publisher: Maupin House Publishing, Inc.
Total Pages: 420
Release: 2013
Genre: Education
ISBN: 9780929895888
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Jane Bell Kiester, author of the popular Caught'ya! Grammar with a Giggle series, has adapted her effective and fun approach to meet the specific learning needs of middle-school students. This resource improves writing and editing skills, raises test scores, engages students, and creates classrooms filled with giggles! Giggles in the Middle offers middle-school teachers all the benefits of the previous Caught'ya! books, plus some helpful "extras" created especially for the middle-school student. You'll find: One continuous story, "The Bizarre Mystery of Horribly Hard Middle School," divided into three parts, each with enough sentences for an entire school year; Classroom-tested writing assignment suggestions, mini-lessons, and teaching tips; "Almost-midterm" and final exam tests for each grade, with teacher keys; Easy-to-follow, step-by-step instructions; Complete vocabulary lists for words used in each story; and A CD with the Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics Guide for easy reference and duplication; the complete, uninterrupted story in narrative form; and the Caught'ya! sentences. Giggles in the Middle gives middle-school teachers the perfect alternative to boring grammar books and dry lectures. With this flexible, proven approach to developing grammar, usage, and mechanics (GUM) skills, as well as vocabulary, everyone has fun while they learn!