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The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life

The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life
Author: Geoff Tibballs
Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books
Total Pages: 136
Release: 2013-06-06
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1782431357

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The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.


How to be a Happy Old Man

How to be a Happy Old Man
Author: George Evans
Publisher: Crombie Jardine Publishing
Total Pages: 160
Release: 2007-09-01
Genre: Social Science
ISBN: 1326414887

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Never mind about ruling the world, although you could, no doubt, do it better than the idiots in charge. Who cares about being youthful, athletic or handsome when you've been there, done that and got the scars to prove it? Joking apart, there are plenty of ways to make your life much happier as you get older and that's what this little book is really all about. It's a mixture of humour and advice, written by a very contented 83-year-old who knows what he's talking about. After deciding to make happiness your top priority, learn how to attain and keep it, with brief lessons ranging from not taking yourself - or anyone else - seriously, and the need for a HOW (happy old woman) to neighbours - like them if it kills them - and enemies (how not to have any). Remember that hurrying is for the young! So, sit back, relax and enjoy life.


Grumpy Old Men: A Manual for the British Malcontent

Grumpy Old Men: A Manual for the British Malcontent
Author: David Quantick
Publisher: HarperCollins UK
Total Pages: 148
Release: 2013-08-29
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0007534701

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At last! A comprehensive, handy guide for the misery-guts in your life. Are you an irritable, crabby, cantankerous, malcontented old grump? Well relax, because you're not alone. Grumpy Old Men is an annotated, cross-referenced and fully illustrated manual for malcontents everywhere: the comprehensive Gripes of Wrath.


How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man

How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man
Author: Mary McHugh
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Total Pages: 146
Release: 2009-03-17
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 0740781553

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Good things come in small sizes. That is so true, especially for How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man. Big on fun and filled with hilarious insights about how not to let our inner crotchety old man out, this one makes the perfect Father's Day gift. Men will learn how to age gracefully so they never rattle off an inappropriate "dirty old man" joke. They'll learn that reading the obits first is a cardinal sin and that never reading the instructions is a close second.


Older and Happier!

Older and Happier!
Author: Dag Sebastian Ahlander
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 224
Release: 2014-05-06
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 1629140031

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Of today’s retired men, one third are reasonably happy, one third are dissatisfied, and one third have resigned themselves to their situation. After retiring, Dag Sebastian Ahlander, former Swedish Consul General in New York, learned the importance of relishing every age—despite setbacks and illnesses—in order to acquire wisdom and perspective and gain greater satisfaction for the years that remain. Drawing on his own experiences, Mr. Ahlander penned Handbook for Happy Old Men , offering 109 pieces of advice for making the change from Grumpy Old Man to Jolly Gent. Mr. Ahlander’s suggestions for a better retirement include: Don’t become a Micro Management Guru. Don’t try to reorganize your wife’s kitchen where you have never done a thing during your active years. You don´t have to comment on everything. Life is supposed to be lived, not commented upon. Don´t downsize. Now is your chance to enjoy the home you have spent a lifetime acquiring and arranging. Steer clear of your adult children´s big problems. You’ll just lose sleep. But do help them with the small stuff—you have the time now for practicalities, they don´t. Smile and people will smile back at you. A red bow tie helps! Handbook for Happy Old Men is both a thought-provoking call to transformation and a practical guide to making the simple changes that make your life that much happier. Remember, time may be short, but life is long. It’s high time to count your blessings and forget the rest. The choice is yours!


The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen

The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen
Author: Hendrik Groen
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Total Pages: 384
Release: 2017-07-11
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1455542148

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A #1 international bestseller in the vein of Fredrik Bachman's A Man Called Ove: an irresistible, funny, charming, and tender-hearted tale about friendship, love, and an old man who is young at heart. "FUNNY AND FRANK...A STORY WITH A GREAT DEAL OF HEART."--Graeme Simsion, New York Times bestselling author of THE ROSIE PROJECT Technically speaking, Hendrik Groen is....elderly. But at age 83 1/4, this feisty, indomitable curmudgeon has no plans to go out quietly. Bored of weak tea and potted geraniums, exasperated by the indignities of aging, Hendrik has decided to rebel--on his own terms. He begins writing an exposé: secretly recording the antics of day-to-day life in his retirement home, where he refuses to take himself, or his fellow "inmates," too seriously. With an eccentric group of friends he founds the wickedly anarchic Old-But-Not-Dead Club--"Rule #3: No Whining Allowed"--and he and his best friend, Evert, gleefully stir up trouble, enraging the home's humorless director and turning themselves into unlikely heroes. And when a sweet and sassy widow moves in next door, he polishes his shoes, grooms what's left of his hair, and determines to savor every ounce of joy in the time he has left, with hilarious and tender consequences. A bestselling phenomenon that has captured imaginations around the world, The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen is inspiring, charming, and laugh-out-loud funny with a deep and poignant core: a page-turning delight for readers of any age.


Grumpy Old Gods

Grumpy Old Gods
Author: Juneta Key
Publisher:
Total Pages: 260
Release: 2019-05-02
Genre:
ISBN: 9781096757238

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What happens when gods wane, retire, or just decide they need a change of employment? 13 writers took up the challenge and let their imaginations run wild in this anthology that is nearly-always amusing, somewhat insightful, and completely irreverent as we imagine the gods of yore in retirement: Pan by Vanessa Wells: Gwen Henson is a witch trainee with a nose for trouble; when she gets into something deeper than she and her mentor can deal with, they are forced to contact a cantankerous former god for assistance, only to find that his help comes at a price...but doesn't everything? A Low Key Game Night by Elizabeth Shaffer: Family Game night is always a risky situation when a former god of mischief is involved; add in a son bringing a new mortal girlfriend to meet the godly household and the stakes get a bit more interesting than anyone intended. For Want of a Feather by Andrew Dunlop: When the God in charge of afterlife management goes AWOL, two intrepid (if somewhat dead) souls and a talking cat set off to find him. What they find isn't exactly what they anticipated. Out of Luck by Vanessa Finaighty: Loki, God of Mischief has a history of going too far: when one of his pranks goes wrong, he and the rest of the Gods are out of luck...literally. Rule 34 by Avery Vanderlyle: When the Primal Terror goes AWOL, Demeter is forced to chase him down in order to keep humanity from destroying themselves; unfortunately, he has a new hobby, and it's for mature audiences only. Immanent Domain by Wendy Smyer Yu: When Cara accidentally invokes Coyote after a terrible date, the young woman has to channel her inner trickster so that the bored deity doesn't wreck her life. God of Morning by Elizabeth McCleary: When Morrow, god of morning is informed he is in danger of losing his position to Chaos god of well...chaos, he has to pull himself out of his recent funk and find joy in the morning once more. Zeus Really Needs To Go by Shawn Klimek: Lactose intolerance and a distinct lack of a statute of limitations combine to give the former King of Olympus one very bad day. Breaking the Habit by Ronel Janse von Vuuren: Odin finds that escaping his throne to make mischief at a rest home might be exactly what the doctor ordered. The New Chief Medical Officer by Tom Vetter: Controlled chaos reigns in the Elysian Fields Retirement facility. The new chief medical officer arrives to take charge; but when retired gods are involved, nothing is ever as easy as it seems at first glance. Playing Hooky by Juneta Key: Death's FA is having a heck of day.Harbinger of Doom by Katharina Gerlach: A mortal with a distasteful job finds that he can be more than he ever dreamed, if he simply has the courage to reach out and take what he wants. Whither Athena by Marshall J. Moore: In which Althea Stagg has a client she can't refuse and a missing Goddess who has no intention of returning: caught between two primal beings, what's a demi-goddess detective to do?


How Not to Murder Your Grumpy

How Not to Murder Your Grumpy
Author: Carol Wyer
Publisher: Safkhet Select
Total Pages: 106
Release: 2013-06-01
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 9781908208163

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Is your Grumpy Old Man getting under your feet? Is he wrestling with retirement? Are you wondering if you should bundle him up and entrust him to basket-weaving classes? Then this book could be the answer to your prayers. This light hearted guide is packed full of lively ideas, anecdotes and quips. Not only does it set out to provide laughs, but offers over 700 ideas and ways to keep a Grumpy Old Man occupied. From collecting airline sick bags to zorbing, you will be sure to find an absorbing pastime for your beloved curmudgeon. There are examples of those who have faced extraordinary challenges in older age, fascinating facts to interest a reluctant partner and innovative ideas drizzled, of course, with a large dollop of humor. Written tongue-in-cheek, this book succeeds in proving that getting older doesn't mean the end of life or having fun. It provides amusing answers to the question, "How on Earth will my husband fill in his time in his retirement?" It offers suggestions on what might, or most certainly might not, amuse him. Ideal for trivia buffs, those approaching retirement, (or just at a loose end) and frustrated women who have an irritable male on their hands, this book will lighten any mood and may even prevent the odd murder.


Diary of a Grumpy Old Git

Diary of a Grumpy Old Git
Author: Tim Collins
Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books
Total Pages: 227
Release: 2012-10-04
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1843179792

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Fantastically witty and painfully accurate, Diary of a Grumpy Old Git will appeal to anyone, grumpy old git or otherwise ...