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The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank
Author: Erma Bombeck
Publisher: Open Road Media
Total Pages: 199
Release: 2013-01-15
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1453290060

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The “marvelously funny” and much-loved humorist explores the perils of suburban living in this New York Times bestseller (Vogue). For years, the Bombecks have heard rumors of a magical land called Suburbia where the air is clean, the grass is trimmed, and children don’t risk getting mugged on their walk to school. After watching their friends flee the city for subdivided utopias like Bonaparte’s Retreat and Mortgage Mañana, Erma and her family load up their belongings and cry, “Station wagons . . . ho!” But life on the suburban frontier is not as perfect as they had hoped. The trees are stunted, the house is cramped, and there’s no grass at all. But the Bombecks will make do, for they are suburbanites now—the last true pioneers! This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.


The Erma Bombeck Collection

The Erma Bombeck Collection
Author: Erma Bombeck
Publisher: Open Road Media
Total Pages: 513
Release: 2013-05-21
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1480430595

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Three hilarious books in one from the #1 New York Times–bestselling author on marriage, motherhood, and the absurdities of suburban life. If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits? is Erma Bombeck’s timelessly witty look at the hidden side of married life. Motherhood captures one of the toughest jobs on earth with humor and heart. The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank is Bombeck’s take on the unforgiving frontier of American suburbia.


If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
Author: Erma Bombeck
Publisher: Open Road Media
Total Pages: 178
Release: 2013-01-15
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1453290109

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The hilarious #1 New York Times bestseller: Erma Bombeck’s take on marriage and family life is “fun from cover to cover” (Hartford Courant). Ever since she was a child, Er ma Bombeck has been an expert worrier, and married life has only honed that skill. She gets anxious about running out of ball bearings; about snakes sneaking in through the pipes; about making meaningful conversation on New Year’s Eve. Married life, she realizes, is an unpredictable saga even when you know exactly how loud your husband snores every night—and she wouldn’t have it any other way. In this crisp collection of essays, Bombeck shows off the irresistible style that made her one of America’s favorite humorists for more than three decades. When she sharpens her wit, no family member is sacred and no self-help fad is safe. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.


At Wit's End

At Wit's End
Author: Erma Bombeck
Publisher: Fawcett
Total Pages: 225
Release: 2011-02-02
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 030777824X

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"America's irrepressible doyenne of domestic satire." THE BOSTON GLOBE Madcap, bittersweet humor in classic Erma Bombeck-style. You'll laugh until it hurts and love it! "Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet, he's treading water. What do you mean you're a participle in the school play and you need a costume? Those rotten kids. If only they'd let me wake up in my own way. Why do they have to line up along my bed and stare at me like Moby Dick just washed up onto a beach somewhere?"


The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side

The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side
Author: Melissa Lavi
Publisher:
Total Pages: 26
Release: 2019-09-26
Genre:
ISBN: 9781694770752

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Do you think the grass really is always greener on the other side? Let us take a look and see. Join us for this heart-warming story of friendship, perception and self-esteem, as we discover together if... THE GRASS REALLY IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE.


Four of a Kind

Four of a Kind
Author: Erma Bombeck
Publisher: Galahad Books
Total Pages: 632
Release: 1996-10
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9780883659595

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The grass is always greener over the septic tank; If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?; Aunt Erma's cope book; Motherhood: the second oldest profession.


Aunt Erma's Cope Book

Aunt Erma's Cope Book
Author: Erma Bombeck
Publisher: Open Road Media
Total Pages: 183
Release: 2013-01-15
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1453290079

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The #1 New York Times bestseller about one woman’s doomed quest for self-improvement by a writer “blessed with the comic equivalent of perfect pitch” (The Boston Globe). As far as Erma can tell, her life is going well. Her children speak to her, her husband smiles at her, and she’s capable of looking in a mirror without screaming. But her friends know better. No matter how happy Erma thinks she is, she’s in need of help, and the only way to fulfillment is a ten-foot stack of self-improvement books. From Sensual Needlepoint to Fear of Buying, Erma will try them all. One book recommends bringing roleplay into the bedroom, so she dresses up in her son’s football pads. She tries to meditate but gets stuck in the lotus position. She spends more time in the kitchen but only succeeds in melting her son’s retainer. No matter how hard she tries to improve her family life, her schemes keep backfiring. As she soon learns, you may not always be able to fix what’s not broken—but with enough self-help books, you can break anything you want. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Erma Bombeck including rare images and never-before-seen documents from the author’s estate.


The Grammar Bible

The Grammar Bible
Author: Michael Strumpf
Publisher: Macmillan
Total Pages: 516
Release: 2004-07-15
Genre: Language Arts & Disciplines
ISBN: 9780805075601

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For more than a quarter of a century, as the creator and proprietor of the National Grammar Hot Line, Michael Strumpf helped thousands of callers from every corner of the globe tackle the thorniest issues of English grammar. In The Grammar Bible, he answers the most common, the most insightful, and the funniest questions asked of him by students, editors, lawyers, doctors, and writers of all stripes. Professor Strumpf's unique question-and-answer sections follow concise but thorough explanations of the various elements of good grammar, from parts of speech to types of sentences; together, they comprise the ideal primer on speech and writing, showing readers how to express themselves more impressively. Whether you need a comprehensive review of the subjunctive mood or simply want to know which form of a verb to use, The Grammar Bible is a practical handbook that will enlighten, educate, and entertain you.


In Search of Greener Grass

In Search of Greener Grass
Author: Graham Field
Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd
Total Pages: 417
Release: 2012
Genre: Travel
ISBN: 178088088X

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From backpack to bicycle and now on a motorcycle, but still on a budget, the author, a compulsive traveller, embarks on a journey East from England with Mongolian intentions. In possession of a good sense of direction, a vague sense of balance and no sense of proportion; this particular trip is financed by modest winnings from an uncharacteristic appearance on a TV game show. Riding a bargain eBay purchase Kawasaki KLR 650 and travelling solo into places beyond the guide book. A daily diary of achievements and mistakes incurred in a transient lifestyle, with mixed emotions from overawed to just plain bored, and making the best of decisions made while trying not to reflect on the alternatives. This is a refreshingly honest, thought provoking, humorous and informative account based on a lifetime of first hand encounters, anecdotes, wisdom and occasional alcohol induced inspiration. Offering an unavoidable wealth of experience which takes the reader with him, as the journey twists and turns on the road which the author hopes will lead him to greener grass.


Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe

Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe
Author: Jeremy Greenberg
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Total Pages: 66
Release: 2011-10-11
Genre: Pets
ISBN: 1449413994

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Inside Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe, writer and comedian Jeremy Greenberg presents a collection of 50 laugh-out-loud letters and accompanying full-color photographs that explain Fido's love of funky smells, why a ball needs to be thrown again, and practically every other lovably loony canine characteristic. From an impassioned plea to stop the silly nicknames, to an attempt to skip a bath, to explanations for stolen shoes and swiped sandwiches, Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe offers a pooch's perspective on common canine vs. human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog—and human—nature.