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The Gay Man's Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage

The Gay Man's Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage
Author: Michael Dale Kimmel
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
Total Pages: 300
Release: 2017-06-09
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1442268026

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Legal gay marriage is still a relatively new phenomenon. As gay men who are now able to get married, we find ourselves in a bit of a quandary: for many male couples, sex is a lot more important for us than it is for heterosexuals. Two married men often have a stronger desire for sex - wanting more of it and with a wider variety of partners - than married opposite-sex couples. How does this work within the structure of a monogamous marriage? Is an open relationship a better structure for gay marriage? Assuming that gay marriages will emulate heterosexual marriages is neither a valid nor a helpful assumption. But, as gay men, where does that leave us? There are currently no “rule books” for how a marriage between two men could or should work. While there are lots of books about how to plan your gay wedding, there are virtually none that address what to do after the honeymoon is over (literally and figuratively). This book fills that void. It offers married gay couples (and gay men considering marriage) an easy-to-follow, practical framework that they can use to help create, adjust and structure their marriages. Using helpful examples and first-hand quotes throughout, Openly-gay psychotherapist Michael Dale Kimmel offers a roadmap for gay men who want to be married but have questions and concerns about monogamy and monotony.


The Monogamy Gap

The Monogamy Gap
Author: Eric Anderson
Publisher: Oxford University Press
Total Pages: 256
Release: 2012-03-21
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 0199943907

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Whether straight or gay, most men start their relationships desiring monogamy. This is rooted in the pervasive notion that monogamy exists as a sign of true love. Yet despite this deeply held cultural ideal, cheating remains rampant. In this accessible book, Eric Anderson investigates why 78% of men he interviewed have cheated despite their desire not to. Combining 120 interviews with research from the fields of sociology, biology, and psychology, Anderson identifies cheating as a product of wanting emotional passion for one's partner, along with a steadily growing desire for emotionally-detached recreational sex with others. Anderson coins the term "the monogamy gap" to describe this phenomenon. Anderson suggests that monogamy is an irrational ideal because it fails to fulfil a lifetime of sexual desires. Cheating therefore becomes the rational response to an irrational situation. The Monogamy Gap draws on a range of concepts, theories, and disciplines to highlight the biological compulsion of our sexual urges, the social construction of the monogamous ideal, and the devastating chasm that lies between them. Whether single or married, monogamous or open, straight or gay, readers will find The Monogamy Gap to be an enlightening, intellectually compelling, and provocative book.


10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives

10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives
Author: Joe Kort
Publisher: ReadHowYouWant.com
Total Pages: 322
Release: 2010-11-26
Genre: Social Science
ISBN: 1459608429

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Openly gay therapist Joe Kort provides 10 powerful and positive steps gay men can take to isolate and overcome self-defeating behavior patterns, and move in healthier and more rewarding directions: Take Charge of Their Own Lives Affirm Themselves by Coming Out Resolve Differences With Parents and Relatives 'Graduate' From Delayed Adolescence Avoid - or Overcome - Sexual Addiction -Learn from Successful Mentors Whove Been There, Done That Take Advantage of 'Therapy Workouts' Achieve - and Maintain - Rewarding Relationships Understand the Stages of Loves Commit to Their Partner.These solid and reliable 'Top 10' life steps that have been most helpful to Joe Korts clients in his 16 years of working with hundreds of gay men, are presented in an engaging and easy-to-understand manner and are supplemented by case histories from his practice. These are time-tested, practical decisions gay men can make in their search for emotional, sexual and personal fulfillment


Open Love

Open Love
Author: Axel Neustädter
Publisher: Bruno Gmuender
Total Pages: 176
Release: 2018-10
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 9783959852838

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Who do we love? Who can we love? And how many? With Open Love, Axel Neustadter explores the possibilities and reveals the secrets of non-monogamous gay love. Fuck buddies, platonic friendships, spiritual partnerships: these are some of the possibilities beyond the traditional monogamous couple. Above all, however, it s the open relationship that has always posed special challenges for people willing to step outside the monogamy template. Neustadter tackles all the important questions asked by anyone who s yearned for a relationship with that certain extra quality: How do you open up a relationship without drama? What about jealousy? Is sex outside the relationship the new fidelity? Why are open relationships the new way to be safe? How gay is polyamory anyway? This book is a guide to the freedom and joy of alternative relationships. At the same time, it offers words of caution about excessive expectations and the pitfalls that can lead to disappointment and failure in free love."


Just Married

Just Married
Author: Stephen Macedo
Publisher: Princeton University Press
Total Pages: 315
Release: 2017-05-09
Genre: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS
ISBN: 0691176337

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The case for marriage equality and monogamy in a democratic society The institution of marriage stands at a critical juncture. As gay marriage equality gains acceptance in law and public opinion, questions abound regarding marriage's future. Will same-sex marriage lead to more radical marriage reform? Should it? Antonin Scalia and many others on the right warn of a slippery slope from same-sex marriage toward polygamy, adult incest, and the dissolution of marriage as we know it. Equally, many academics, activists, and intellectuals on the left contend that there is no place for monogamous marriage as a special status defined by law. Just Married demonstrates that both sides are wrong: the same principles of democratic justice that demand marriage equality for same-sex couples also lend support to monogamous marriage. Stephen Macedo displays the groundlessness of arguments against same-sex marriage and defends marriage as a public institution against those who would eliminate its special status or supplant it with private arrangements. Arguing that monogamy reflects and cultivates our most basic democratic values, Macedo opposes the legal recognition of polygamy, but agrees with progressives that public policies should do more to support nontraditional caring and caregiving relationships. Throughout, Macedo explores the meaning of contemporary marriage and the reasons for its fragility and its enduring significance. His defense of reformed marriage against slippery slope alarmists on the right, and radical critics of marriage on the left, vindicates the justice and common sense of the emerging consensus. Casting new light on today's debates over the future of marriage, Just Married lays the groundwork for a stronger institution.


Choices

Choices
Author: Blake Spears
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2016-08-06
Genre: Gay men
ISBN: 9781536890792

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This is a compendium of two studies and a follow-up article. The most recent study, Choices, (2016) focuses on younger gay men's perspectives on monogamy, non-monogamy and marriage. It is both a quantitative (576 respondents) and qualitative (222 respondents) study. It describes trends toward greater monogamy, the emergence of 'monogamish' relationships, and provides insights, profiles, and descriptions of both monogamous, as well as non-monogamous couples. Beyond Monogamy, (2010) is a study based on in-depth interviews with 86 long-term non-monogamous couples - when and how they opened up their relationships, how they handle jealousy and emotional involvement, what information they disclose to their partners, typical rules, and their suggestions for how to make non-monogamy work. Creating Healthy Open Relationships, (2013) is a follow-up article to Beyond Monogamy. It offers suggestions on managing jealousy, addressing conflict, and building trust. The two studies confirm the viability of healthy, successful, long-term monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. In addition, the studies illustrate that both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships require a great deal of communication, commitment, and hard work. We think the information in these studies can be of great help to couples, regardless of what choices they make about monogamy and non-monogamy.


Gay Marriage

Gay Marriage
Author: Jonathan Rauch
Publisher: Macmillan
Total Pages: 226
Release: 2005-02-01
Genre: Social Science
ISBN: 1429936746

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A leading Washington journalist argues that gay marriage is the best way to preserve and protect society's most essential institution Two people meet and fall in love. They get married, they become upstanding members of their community, they care for each other when one falls ill, they grow old together. What's wrong with this picture? Nothing, says Jonathan Rauch, and that's the point. If the two people are of the same sex, why should this chain of events be any less desirable? Marriage is more than a bond between individuals; it also links them to the community at large. Excluding some people from the prospect of marriage not only is harmful to them, but is also corrosive of the institution itself. The controversy over gay marriage has reached a critical point in American political life as liberals and conservatives have begun to mobilize around this issue, pro and con. But no one has come forward with a compelling, comprehensive, and readable case for gay marriage-until now. Jonathan Rauch, one of our most original and incisive social commentators, has written a clear and honest manifesto explaining why gay marriage is important-even crucial-to the health of marriage in America today. Rauch grounds his argument in commonsense, mainstream values and confronting the social conservatives on their own turf. Gay marriage, he shows, is a "win-win-win" for strengthening the bonds that tie us together and for remaining true to our national heritage of fairness and humaneness toward all.


Choices

Choices
Author: Lanz Lowen
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Total Pages: 202
Release: 2016-08-03
Genre:
ISBN: 9781535038652

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This is a compendium of two studies and a follow-up article. The most recent study, Choices, (2016) focuses on younger gay men's perspectives on monogamy, non-monogamy, and marriage. It is both a quantitative (576 respondents) and qualitative (222 respondents)study. It describes trends toward greater monogamy, the emergence of 'monogamish' relationships, and provides insights, profiles, and descriptions of both monogamous, as well as non-monogamous gay couples. Beyond Monogamy, (2010) is a study based on in-depth interviews with 86 long-term non-monogamous male couples. It offers the perspectives of long-term non-monogamous couples - when and how they opened up their relationships, how they handle jealousy and emotional involvement, what information they disclose to their partner, typical rules, and their suggestions for how to make non-monogamy work. Creating Healthy Open Relationships is a follow-up article to Beyond Monogamy. It offers suggestions on managing jealousy, addressing conflict, and building trust. The two studies confirm the viability of healthy, successful, long-term monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. And that both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships require a great deal of communication, care, and hard work. We think the information in these studies can be of great help to couples, regardless of what choices they make about monogamy and non-monogamy.


God and the Gay Christian

God and the Gay Christian
Author: Matthew Vines
Publisher: Convergent
Total Pages: 226
Release: 2014
Genre: Christian gays
ISBN: 1601425163

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Reinterpretations of key Bible texts related to sexual orientation, written by a Harvard student, present an accessible case for a modern Christian conservative acceptance of sexual diversity.


My Guy

My Guy
Author: Martin Kantor
Publisher: Sourcebooks Casablanca
Total Pages: 248
Release: 2002
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN:

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Offers gay men a constructive approach to having lifelong love and companionship.