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The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes
Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
Total Pages: 120
Release: 2015-03-18
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9781312999015

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Paperback edition. This book is one-half of my previous book "The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods: 500 Anecdotes." This book contains 250 anecdotes about sports, including this one: As an 11-year-old, gymnast Shannon Miller finished second (behind Wendy Bruce) in the all-around competition in the Alamo Classic. Afterward, the pre-teen Shannon signed autographs for her adoring fans. In fact, when her father, Ron, went up to talk to her, other parents grew angry at him because they thought he was cutting in line.


The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods

The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods
Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
Total Pages: 239
Release: 2006-11
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1430300302

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This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) Bob Zuppke coached the football Illini for years. In a discussion of football rules, someone described a play and asked whether the officials had made the right call. Before answering, however, Mr. Zuppke asked, "Which team made the foul-Illinois or the other one?" 2) At a Westminster Dog Show in Madison Square Garden, a woman was selling an expensive coat made for dogs. Saying "We want her dog to look as smart as madame," the saleslady held up a pink cocktail coat made out of embroidered silk with a lining of mohair. Sportswriter Robert Lipsyte asked her, "When would a dog wear that?" The saleslady replied, "After five o'clock." 3) Shannon Martin was six years old when she won an age-12-and-under roping contest, for which she was written up in the "Roping Sports News." Because she hadn't learned to read yet, she kept saying to her father, "Come on, Dad. Read it again."


The Funniest People in Sports

The Funniest People in Sports
Author: David Bruce
Publisher: iUniverse
Total Pages: 66
Release: 2005-08-01
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0595366740

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"The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes About Sports" contains such anecdotes as the following: Umpire Beans Reardon once made a mistake. Richie Ashburn slid into second base and Billy Cox attempted to tag him. Beans yelled 'Safe," but at the same time he flung his arm in the 'Out" gesture. Mr. Ashburn asked, 'What the hell does that mean?" Mr. Reardon replied, 'Richie, you know you're safe. Billy, you know he's safe. But 30,000 fans see my arm. Richie, you're out." Figure skater Rosalynn Sumners has a tendency to put on weight. When she was skating for Disney, her contract required her to be weighed each week, and if she was three pounds over her desired weight, Disney fined her $10. After a while, Ms. Sumners began to stand on the scales each week with a $10 bill in her hand.


From the "Iliad" to the "Odyssey": A Retelling in Prose of Quintus of Smyrna’s "Posthomerica"

From the
Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
Total Pages: 202
Release: 2014-10-23
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 131213979X

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Homer created the epic poems ""Iliad"" and ""Odyssey."" The "Iliad" tells only a small part of the story of the Trojan War. For example, the "Iliad" does not tell the story of the Trojan Horse although Homer knew about the Trojan Horse and assumed that his audience knew its story. Other, shorter epic poems that made up the Epic Cycle told the rest of the story of the Trojan War. The ""Iliad"" and the ""Odyssey"" have survived to the present time, but the other epic poems of the Epic Cycle have been lost since ancient times. Fortunately, Quintus of Smyrna wrote an epic poem that retold the tales recounted in the lost epic poems of the Epic Cycle. He told the story of the Trojan War from the end of the ""Iliad ""to when Odysseus sets sail for home in the "Odyssey" after Troy has fallen. In this retelling, as in all my retellings, I have tried to make the work of literature accessible to modern readers.


The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships: 500 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships: 500 Anecdotes
Author: David Bruce
Publisher: Lulu.com
Total Pages: 214
Release: 2006-09-01
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1847287808

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This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) In his Answer Man column, film critic Roger Ebert answered a question by Matt Sandler about who was the world's most beautiful woman by saying that she was Indian actress Aishwarya Rai. In a later Answer Man column, a reader stated that Mr. Ebert should have answered the question by saying, "My wife." However, Mr. Ebert had a good reason for not answering the question that way: "Matt Sandler asked about women, not goddesses." 2) To advertise its Razzles candy, Mars Candy decided to use a Cleveland, Ohio, show in which comedian Ron Sweed, aka The Ghoul, hosted several mostly bad horror movies. The Ghoul criticized the candy for weeks, and the more he criticized it, the more its sales went up. In gratitude, Mars Candy delivered a case of Razzles to The Ghoul. The case of candy remained on the set of The Ghoul's show for year--unopened.


The Funniest People in Sports, Volume 2

The Funniest People in Sports, Volume 2
Author: David Bruce
Publisher:
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2022-10-07
Genre:
ISBN:

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This is a short, quick, and easy read. Some Sample Anecdotes: - Jackie Robinson, the African American who integrated modern major-league baseball with the Brooklyn Dodgers, was an activist long before he became famous. As a boy, he and his friends would sometimes go to the movie theater and sit in the white-people-only seats. When that happened, the police would arrive to get them out of those seats. Later, while he was playing with the Kansas City Monarchs in the Negro Leagues, his team's tour bus pulled up at a gas station in Oklahoma. African Americans were allowed to buy gas there, but the men's restroom bore this sign: "WHITE MEN ONLY." Mr. Robinson walked to the restroom, and the gas station owner told him that he couldn't use that restroom. Mr. Robinson then said, "Take that hose out of the tank." The gas station owner did not want to lose any business, so he allowed Mr. Robinson to use the restroom. After that, the Kansas City Monarchs never bought gas at a gas station where they weren't allowed to use the restroom. As Mr. Robinson explained, "This is America, man." - After jockey Julie Krone won a race by 10 lengths, competing jockey Miguel Rujano whipped her across the face. With her ear bleeding, Ms. Krone told the bystanders, "Excuse me, I have to go hit somebody," then she punched her attacker's nose. Ms. Krone's assertiveness paid off when she became the first woman to win a Triple Crown race, the Belmont Stakes, in 1993. - Walter Payton knew how to motivate the linesmen who blocked for him. When he earned his first 1,000-yard rushing season--the first Chicago back to earn that many yards in a single season since Gale Sayers--he gave each linesman a gold watch that bore this message: "Thanks for the 1,000 yards." In addition, he gave praise to linesmen even when the linesmen felt that the praise was not due. For example, in college Jackie Slater felt sometimes that his block could have been a whole lot better, and that only Mr. Payton's incredible athletic ability had enabled him to get free and get big yardage. However, in talking to the media, Mr. Payton would give the credit to Mr. Slater and say that the block had gotten him loose to go for big yardage. Things like that motivate linesmen to work hard to protect the runner. - Gaylord Perry was a great pitcher but not a great hitter. In fact, Alvin Dark (manager for the San Francisco Giants) once predicted that an astronaut would land on the moon before Mr. Perry hit a home run. On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong stepped onto the surface of the moon--and 17 minutes later Mr. Perry hit his very first major-league home run. - In the early 1980s, the Northwestern University football team was mainly known for its losing seasons; after all, it lost 30 games in a row. In fact, when Doug Single interviewed for the job of Northwestern University athletic director, he saw a highway sign. Underneath INTERSTATE 94, someone had written NORTHWESTERN 0.