The Chapped Ass Critic Epub PDF Download

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The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB)

The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB)
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 26
Release: 2013-08-24
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1624544835

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Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,300 words. EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC “Doc, you’ve got to help me,” a thin, wiry man named Zack Pimpton bent over the padded table and rubbed his behind. “My ass hurts really, really bad. I think I might have broken it.” A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. “How did this happen?” Dr. Marsh asked. “I don't know. I was typing up a review when suddenly my butt began to hurt. At first it stung just a little. I tried ignoring it, but it got worse and worse until I eventually found myself here. It's terrible! I can’t believe I was able to drive over here.” He tried sitting and recoiled immediately. “Well, you're in luck! It's nothing life-threatening, that’s for sure, but I'm afraid you won’t have use of your buttocks again,” the portly doctor cracked a smile.


20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB)

20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB)
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 60
Release: 2013-12-13
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1624544983

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Think you know everything there is to know about mankind's favorite green gas? Well, Donald Rump has something in store for you! Inside, you'll finally get to the bottom of many age-old questions, including: - Where do farts come from? - Are farts people? - Do farts die? - Do all farts go to heaven? - What should I do if a zombie farts on me? - Does inhaling farts cause brain damage? - What if someone steals my farts? - Can farts be used to power my car? - I've run out of farts. Should I dial 911? - Should I join Fartaholics Anonymous? And many, many more! So what are you waiting for? Become a fart expert today! Approximately 11,500 words in all. Intended for readers 15 and up.


Bottling Farts (EPUB)

Bottling Farts (EPUB)
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 30
Release: 2013-08-24
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1624544827

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Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? "Shh…it's our secret…" Vlad told the little boy. "Use the power wisely…" Approximately 2,200 words.


Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB)

Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB)
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 32
Release: 2013-11-24
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1624544975

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Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he\'d smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his two gassy brides prevent the old man from getting one last piece of nookie before he dies? Or will Mackelroy talk his way out of another hazardous situation and live to see another hair pie? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 3,400 words in all.


Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub)

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub)
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 25
Release: 2016-07-02
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1533731373

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Great heavens, the armored kingdoms are under attack! And King Krakken, the domain’s irritable ruler, has an impossible decision. Should he scramble the air ships and meet the encroaching enemy head on or listen to his counsel and hold firm? Either way, the green death is upon him and it’s only a matter of time before he comes face-to-face with the infamous Wind Laten. Approximately 1,600 words. DIAGNOSIS: Less filling. Doesn’t contain many actual farts.


The Deal

The Deal
Author: Elle Kennedy
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2016-09-25
Genre:
ISBN: 9781537356037

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She's about to make a deal with the college bad boy... Hannah Wells has finally found someone who turns her on. But while she might be confident in every other area of her life, she's carting around a full set of baggage when it comes to sex and seduction. If she wants to get her crush's attention, she'll have to step out of her comfort zone and make him take notice...even if it means tutoring the annoying, childish, cocky captain of the hockey team in exchange for a pretend date. ...and it's going to be oh so good All Garrett Graham has ever wanted is to play professional hockey after graduation, but his plummeting GPA is threatening everything he's worked so hard for. If helping a sarcastic brunette make another guy jealous will help him secure his position on the team, he's all for it. But when one unexpected kiss leads to the wildest sex of both their lives, it doesn't take long for Garrett to realize that pretend isn't going to cut it. Now he just has to convince Hannah that the man she wants looks a lot like him.


Dragon Bound

Dragon Bound
Author: Thea Harrison
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 338
Release: 2011-05-03
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1101514396

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THE FIRST NOVEL IN THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING ELDER RACES SERIES! Half-human and half-wyr, Pia Giovanni spent her life keeping a low profile among the wyrkind and avoiding the continuing conflict between them and their Dark Fae enemies. But after being blackmailed into stealing a coin from the hoard of a dragon, Pia finds herself targeted by one of the most powerful—and passionate—of the Elder races. As the most feared and respected of the wyrkind, Dragos Cuelebre cannot believe someone had the audacity to steal from him, much less succeed. And when he catches the thief, Dragos spares her life, claiming her as his own to further explore the desire they’ve ignited in each other. Pia knows she must repay Dragos for her trespass, but refuses to become his slave—although she cannot deny wanting him, body and soul...


The Recognitions

The Recognitions
Author: William Gaddis
Publisher: New York Review of Books
Total Pages: 969
Release: 2020-11-24
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1681374676

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A postmodern masterpiece about fraud and forgery by one of the most distinctive, accomplished novelists of the last century. The Recognitions is a sweeping depiction of a world in which everything that anyone recognizes as beautiful or true or good emerges as anything but: our world. The book is a masquerade, moving from New England to New York to Madrid, from the art world to the underworld, but it centers on the story of Wyatt Gwyon, the son of a New England minister, who forsakes religion to devote himself to painting, only to despair of his inspiration. In expiation, he will paint nothing but flawless copies of his revered old masters—copies, however, that find their way into the hands of a sinister financial wizard by the name of Recktall Brown, who of course sells them as the real thing. Dismissed uncomprehendingly by reviewers on publication in 1955 and ignored by the literary world for decades after, The Recognitions is now established as one of the great American novels, immensely ambitious and entirely unique, a book of wild, Boschian inspiration and outrageous comedy that is also profoundly serious and sad.


Kettlebell: A Simple Guide to Learn Kettlebell Exercises (The Ultimate Kettlebell Workouts for a Shredded Body)

Kettlebell: A Simple Guide to Learn Kettlebell Exercises (The Ultimate Kettlebell Workouts for a Shredded Body)
Author: Bobbie Wright
Publisher: Bobbie Wright
Total Pages: 182
Release: 2022-01-13
Genre: Sports & Recreation
ISBN:

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The great thing about the kettlebell is that it allows you to perform resistance cardio. This means you are using cardiovascular training that increases your heartrate and helps you to burn fat. At the same time though, you are also lifting weight, which protects your muscle from breakdown and increases the challenge, thereby increasing the amount of calories burned and the amount of effort involved. What you will learn in this guide: · The benefits of kettlebells · How to purchase the right kettlebell · How to make your own kettlebell cheaply · The top kettlebell exercises that give you the best results · Learn the best workouts that provide high intensity that will make you a kettlebell machine! Enter kettlebell training. In this book, you'll learn how it can help you get ripped and shredded and, more importantly, how to start with the right set of kettlebells, i.e., the right quality and weight. By the end of this short book, you'll be in a great position to start going for that ripped and shredded body you've always dreamed of using kettlebells. You have a great tool in your hands now. It's up to you if you'll use it to the hilt.


Last Night in Nuuk

Last Night in Nuuk
Author: Niviaq Korneliussen
Publisher: Grove Press
Total Pages: 157
Release: 2019-01-15
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0802146740

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Five friends attempt to find themselves in the nightlife of Greenland’s capital city in this “audacious and honest, sorrowful and triumphant” debut novel (NPR). In a collection of blurry nights and bleary mornings after, Greenlandic author Niviaq Korneliussen weaves together the coming of age of five young people in the city of Nuuk. Fia has recently sworn off men only to discover that the woman she wants is unavailable. Her brother Inuk is forced to escape Greenland after being implicated in a political scandal. Arnaq struggles to cope with her past as her hard-partying life spirals out of control. Meanwhile, Ivik and Sara must confront an important transition in their relationship. With vibrant imagery and daring prose, Korneliussen creates a Greenlandic literature unlike any we have known before—young, urbane, stream-of-consciousness, studded with textspeak and delirious with nightlife. This inventive debut “transports us to a cold homeland where the blood runs hot” (Guardian, UK).