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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love

Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love
Author: Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D.
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 168
Release: 2009-12-24
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1101159553

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“The most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars.”—Erin Meanley, Glamour.com A groundbreaking, interactive relationship tool that literally places in the hands of couples the power to transform chronically frustrating relationship dynamics. We've all been there. A conversation with a loved one escalates into conflict. Voices rise to a fever pitch and angry, accusative words fly through the air. At times like these, it seems impossible to find the magic words that will lead to healing. Enter Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love. A psychotherapist with decades of experience in counseling couples, Nancy Dreyfus hit upon the revolutionary practice outlined in this book during a couples-therapy session in which a wife’s unrelenting criticism of her husband was causing him to become emotionally withdrawn. In the midst of this, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, “Talk to me like I'm someone you love,” and gestured to the husband that he should hold it up. He did and within seconds the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. Dreyfus was startled, then intrigued, and then motivated to create a tool that could help others. This book features more than one hundred of Dreyfus's "flash cards for real life," written statements that express what we wish we could communicate to the person we love, but either can't find the right words or the right tone in which to say it. The statements include: • Taking responsibility: "I realize I'm overreacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?" • Apologizing: "I know I've really hurt you. What can I do to help you trust me again?" • Loving: "You are precious, and I get that I haven't been treating you like you are." A one-of-a-kind, practical relationship tool, Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love will help couples to stop arguing and begin healing.


Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, revised edition

Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, revised edition
Author: Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D.
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 385
Release: 2013-01-03
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1101657847

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No matter our attachment style, we all crave connection with our partners. Learn how to transform your unproductive communication patterns with this helpful, practical, and sometimes magical tool from experienced couples’ therapist Nancy Dreyfus Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. Couples therapist Nancy Dreyfus hit upon this revolutionary practice during a particularly angry couples-therapy session in which a wife's unrelenting criticism of her husband was making him more and more emotionally withdrawn. Suddenly, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, "Talk to me like I'm someone you love," and gesturing to the husband that he should hold it up. He did, and within seconds, the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. This revised edition features two new sections—one on making love and another on deepening trust—containing over 25 new "flash cards for real life," written statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them. Each of the statements in this book is accompanied by "field notes" from the author that explain when, why, and how to use the statement, as well as real-life stories from the author's practice. "The most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars." —Erin Meanley, Glamour online


I Love You but I'm Not in Love with You

I Love You but I'm Not in Love with You
Author: Andrew G Marshall
Publisher: A&C Black
Total Pages: 304
Release: 2010-02-15
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1408810980

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How do you fall back in love? This was the underlying problem of one in four couples seeking help from relationship therapist Andrew G. Marshall. They described their problem as: 'I love you but I'm not in love with you'. Noticing how widespread the phenomenon had become, he decided to look more closely. Why were these relationships becoming defined more by companionship than by passion, and why was companionship no longer enough? From his research Andrew has devised his own unique programme. By looking at how a couple communicate, argue, share love, take responsibility, give and learn he offers in seven steps a reassuring and empowering map for how two individuals can better understand themselves, strengthen their bond and recover that lost magic.


Getting the Love You Want

Getting the Love You Want
Author: Harville Hendrix
Publisher: Macmillan
Total Pages: 340
Release: 2001
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 9780805068955

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I know of no better guide for couples who genuinely desire a maturing relationship.M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled A remarkable bookthe most incisive and persuasive I have ever read on the knotty problems of marriage relationships. Ann Roberts, former president, Rockefeller Family Fund


Fight Less, Love More

Fight Less, Love More
Author: Laurie Puhn
Publisher: Rodale
Total Pages: 274
Release: 2012-09-18
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1609618890

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A Harvard-trained lawyer and mediator shows busy couples how to stop fighting and start communicating. In Fight Less, Love More, readers will learn how to identify the bad verbal habits, instinctive responses, and emotional reasoning that can cloud judgment and ultimately lead to the deterioration of otherwise healthy relationships. With exercises, examples, and sample scripts, Puhn’s modern voice presents simple 5-minute strategies create immediate, positive changes and provide long-lasting communication skills that couples can continually employ when faced with conflict.


So Good They Can't Ignore You

So Good They Can't Ignore You
Author: Cal Newport
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Total Pages: 163
Release: 2012-09-18
Genre: Business & Economics
ISBN: 1455509108

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In an unorthodox approach, Georgetown University professor Cal Newport debunks the long-held belief that "follow your passion" is good advice, and sets out on a quest to discover the reality of how people end up loving their careers. Not only are pre-existing passions rare and have little to do with how most people end up loving their work, but a focus on passion over skill can be dangerous, leading to anxiety and chronic job hopping. Spending time with organic farmers, venture capitalists, screenwriters, freelance computer programmers, and others who admitted to deriving great satisfaction from their work, Newport uncovers the strategies they used and the pitfalls they avoided in developing their compelling careers. Cal reveals that matching your job to a pre-existing passion does not matter. Passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. In other words, what you do for a living is much less important than how you do it. With a title taken from the comedian Steve Martin, who once said his advice for aspiring entertainers was to "be so good they can't ignore you," Cal Newport's clearly written manifesto is mandatory reading for anyone fretting about what to do with their life, or frustrated by their current job situation and eager to find a fresh new way to take control of their livelihood. He provides an evidence-based blueprint for creating work you love, and will change the way you think about careers, happiness, and the crafting of a remarkable life.


The Argument Hangover

The Argument Hangover
Author: Aaron Freeman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 215
Release: 2021-03-16
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1510763422

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Learn how you and your partner can fight smarter, communicate like pros, and handle any challenge as a team! You know that feeling right after an argument you’ve had with your partner? You feel kind of sick to your stomach, your head is buzzing, and you're zoned out. You regret what you said or how you said it, and you're hurt by their actions as well. Almost like a food or alcohol hangover, right? Aaron and Jocelyn Freeman, your new favorite relationship mentors, call this "the argument hangover." In this relatable, no b.s. book for couples, the Freemans explain what an argument hangover is, what causes it, and how to clearly communicate your needs to feel understood, without having to change each other. This modern guide includes step-by-step tools and exercises you can implement right away, so you can handle the challenges that so many couples face today. Topics include: Why conflict doesn’t have to be something you avoid How to keep arguments from escalating How to resolve those nagging two or three disagreements that keep coming up Embrace conflict and grow from it with the right communication skills―and say goodbye to argument hangovers once and for all.


I Don't Want to Talk About It

I Don't Want to Talk About It
Author: Terrence Real
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 390
Release: 1999-03-11
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 0684865394

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A bestseller for over 20 years, I Don’t Want to Talk About It is a groundbreaking and hopeful guide to understanding and destigmatizing male depression, essential not only for men who may be suffering but for the people who love them. Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children. This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons.


The Five Love Languages

The Five Love Languages
Author: Gary Chapman
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Total Pages: 209
Release: 2009-12-17
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1575678853

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Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running!


How to Fall in Love with Anyone

How to Fall in Love with Anyone
Author: Mandy Len Catron
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 211
Release: 2017-06-27
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1501137468

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“A beautifully written and well-researched cultural criticism as well as an honest memoir” (Los Angeles Review of Books) from the author of the popular New York Times essay, “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This,” explores the romantic myths we create and explains how they limit our ability to achieve and sustain intimacy. What really makes love last? Does love ever work the way we say it does in movies and books and Facebook posts? Or does obsessing over those love stories hurt our real-life relationships? When her parents divorced after a twenty-eight year marriage and her own ten-year relationship ended, those were the questions that Mandy Len Catron wanted to answer. In a series of candid, vulnerable, and wise essays that takes a closer look at what it means to love someone, be loved, and how we present our love to the world, “Catron melds science and emotion beautifully into a thoughtful and thought-provoking meditation” (Bookpage). She delves back to 1944, when her grandparents met in a coal mining town in Appalachia, to her own dating life as a professor in Vancouver. She uses biologists’ research into dopamine triggers to ask whether the need to love is an innate human drive. She uses literary theory to show why we prefer certain kinds of love stories. She urges us to question the unwritten scripts we follow in relationships and looks into where those scripts come from. And she tells the story of how she decided to test an experiment that she’d read about—where the goal was to create intimacy between strangers using a list of thirty-six questions—and ended up in the surreal situation of having millions of people following her brand-new relationship. “Perfect fodder for the romantic and the cynic in all of us” (Booklist), How to Fall in Love with Anyone flips the script on love. “Clear-eyed and full of heart, it is mandatory reading for anyone coping with—or curious about—the challenges of contemporary courtship” (The Toronto Star).