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I Was Told There'd Be Cake

I Was Told There'd Be Cake
Author: Sloane Crosley
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 214
Release: 2008-04-01
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1101147474
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Hailed by David Sedaris as "perfectly, relentlessly funny" and by Colson Whitehead as "sardonic without being cruel, tender without being sentimental," from the author of the new collection Look Alive Out There. Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory. From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions -- or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character who aims for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

I Was Told There'd Be Cake
Author: Sloane Crosley
Publisher: Portobello Books
Total Pages: 240
Release: 2012-02-09
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1846274656
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From getting locked out of her flat twice on the same day and being fired for baking a giant cookie in the shape of her boss's head, to playing bridesmaid for a friend she'd long forgotten, Sloane Crosley can do no right, despite the best of intentions. With sharp, original and irresistible storytelling that confounds expectations at every turn, Crosley recounts her victories and catastrophes, finding uproarious comedy and genuine insights in the most unpredictable places.

The Clasp

The Clasp
Author: Sloane Crosley
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Total Pages: 385
Release: 2015-10-06
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0374711828
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Part comedy of manners, part treasure hunt, the first novel from the writer whom David Sedaris calls "perfectly, relentlessly funny" Kezia, Nathaniel, and Victor are reunited for the extravagant wedding of a college friend. Now at the tail end of their twenties, they arrive completely absorbed in their own lives—Kezia the second-in-command to a madwoman jewelry designer in Manhattan; Nathaniel the former literary cool kid, selling his wares in Hollywood; and the Eeyore-esque Victor, just fired from a middling search engine. They soon slip back into old roles: Victor loves Kezia. Kezia loves Nathaniel. Nathaniel loves Nathaniel. In the midst of all this semi-merriment, Victor passes out in the mother of the groom's bedroom. He wakes to her jovially slapping him across the face. Instead of a scolding, she offers Victor a story she's never even told her son, about a valuable necklace that disappeared during the Nazi occupation of France. And so a madcap adventure is set into motion, one that leads Victor, Kezia, and Nathaniel from Miami to New York and L.A. to Paris and across France, until they converge at the estate of Guy de Maupassant, author of the classic short story "The Necklace." Heartfelt, suspenseful, and told with Sloane Crosley's inimitable spark and wit, The Clasp is a story of friends struggling to fit together now that their lives haven't gone as planned, of how to separate the real from the fake. Such a task might be possible when it comes to precious stones, but is far more difficult to pull off with humans.

Look Alive Out There

Look Alive Out There
Author: Sloane Crosley
Publisher: MCD
Total Pages: 256
Release: 2018-04-03
Genre: Literary Collections
ISBN: 0374711801
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Sloane Crosley returns to the form that made her a household name in really quite a lot of households: Essays! From the New York Times–bestselling author Sloane Crosley comes Look Alive Out There—a brand-new collection of essays filled with her trademark hilarity, wit, and charm. The characteristic heart and punch-packing observations are back, but with a newfound coat of maturity. A thin coat. More of a blazer, really. Fans of I Was Told There’d Be Cake and How Did You Get This Number know Sloane Crosley’s life as a series of relatable but madcap misadventures. In Look Alive Out There, whether it’s playing herself on Gossip Girl,scaling active volcanoes, crashing shivas, befriending swingers, or staring down the barrel of the fertility gun, Crosley continues to rise to the occasion with unmatchable nerve and electric one-liners. And as her subjects become more serious, her essays deliver not just laughs but lasting emotional heft and insight. Crosley has taken up the gauntlets thrown by her predecessors—Dorothy Parker, Nora Ephron, David Sedaris—and crafted something rare, affecting, and true. Look Alive Out There arrives on the tenth anniversary of I Was Told There’d be Cake, and Crosley’s essays have managed to grow simultaneously more sophisticated and even funnier. And yet she’s still very much herself, and it’s great to have her back—and not a moment too soon (or late, for that matter).

How Did You Get This Number

How Did You Get This Number
Author: Sloane Crosley
Publisher: National Geographic Books
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2011-05-03
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1594485194
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The hilarious New York Times bestselling literary essay collection from Sloane Crosley, the author of I Was Told There'd Be Cake and The Clasp. Sloane Crosley, the brilliantly funny "fountain of observations" (Boston Globe), now takes readers from a bear-infested wedding in Alaska to a run-in with clowns in Portugal in a new collection of essays about the messiest and most unexpected dilemmas life has to offer. "How sure-footed and observant Sloane Crosley is. How perfectly, relentlessly funny." -- David Sedaris

Cult Classic

Cult Classic
Author: Sloane Crosley
Publisher: MCD
Total Pages: 195
Release: 2022-06-07
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0374603405
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Hilariously insightful and delightfully suspenseful, Cult Classic is an original: a masterfully crafted tale of love, memory, morality, and mind control, as well as a fresh foray into the philosophy of romance. A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR at the Washington Post, the BBC, Esquire, Harper’s Bazaar, and more! One night in New York City’s Chinatown, a woman is at a work reunion dinner with former colleagues when she excuses herself to buy a pack of cigarettes. On her way back, she runs into a former boyfriend. And then another. And . . . another. Nothing is quite what it seems as the city becomes awash with ghosts of heartbreaks past. What would normally pass for coincidence becomes something far stranger as the recently engaged Lola must contend not only with the viability of her current relationship but with the fact that both her best friend and her former boss, a magazine editor turned mystical guru, might have an unhealthy investment in the outcome. Memories of the past swirl and converge in ways both comic and eerie, as Lola is forced to decide if she will surrender herself to the conspiring of one very contemporary cult. Is it possible to have a happy ending in an age when the past is ever at your fingertips and sanity is for sale? With her gimlet eye, Sloane Crosley spins a wry literary fantasy that is equal parts page-turner and poignant portrayal of alienation.

Summary of Sloane Crosley's I Was Told There'd Be Cake

Summary of Sloane Crosley's I Was Told There'd Be Cake
Author: Everest Media,
Publisher: Everest Media LLC
Total Pages: 31
Release: 2022-10-12T22:59:00Z
Genre: Humor
ISBN:
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Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day. I have pictured my loved ones coming to my apartment to collect my things, and I have hoped that it would only be lived-in messy. But that is never going to happen. #2 I have dated a lot of men who have given me a contribution to my pony collection. This is not such a bad thing. These are men who are creative and kind. They hold open doors and pour wine. If I were to join a cult, I would think they would come rescue me. #3 I have a collection of ponies that I bought after breaking up with my boyfriends. They are too embarrassing to leave out in the open, facing west like a collection of china elephants. I want to send them around the world like the Travelocity gnome, have them come back to me years from now when I have an attic in which to shut them away. #4 I can’t just throw the ponies out with the recyling. The ponies have roots in me, not the other person. I put them in a black plastic bag and take them with me on the subway. I leave them between my legs, and then I forget to take them with me when I get up.

The Last Single Woman in America

The Last Single Woman in America
Author: Cindy Guidry
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 314
Release: 2008-01-31
Genre: Literary Collections
ISBN: 1101213876
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A ?sassy? (USA Today), ?funny, fast-talking? (New York Daily News) ?great read? (People) that unfolds like a conversation with your bawdy best friend over a glass?or a bottle?of wine Whether she?s being greeted by the news that her brother has thrown her underwear off a Mardi Gras float, desperately trying to kick Dave Matthews out of her car before he discovers that her 6-CD changer contains six Dave Matthews CDs, or hosting a friend?s baby shower after learning that her boyfriend has impregnated another woman, Cindy Guidry writes with the ease of a born raconteur. This is the rare book that provokes both belly laughs and tears, as Guidry barrels through the obstacle course of life, refusing to see her grass as anything other than green. The Last Single Woman in America belongs on the same shelf as bestsellers like Don?t Get Too Comfortable by David Rakoff, I Was Told There?d Be Cake by Sloane Crosley, and I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron.

Mercury in Retrograde

Mercury in Retrograde
Author: Paula Froelich
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 286
Release: 2010-06
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1416598944
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From the Page Six reporter, a debut novel in which the lives of three New York women intersect when they move into the same Soho apartment building.

High Maintenance

High Maintenance
Author: Jennifer Belle
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 369
Release: 2002-07-02
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 157322930X
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National Bestseller The story of an obsessive love affair between a woman and an apartment. The publication of her sexy, offbeat, riotous first novel, Going Down, won Jennifer Belle comparisons from everyone from Dorothy Parker and Lorrie Moore to J. D. Salinger and Liz Phair. In High Maintenance, Belle is back with another brilliantly twisted New York story that is as funny, sad, painful, ridiculous, wild, daring, and lovable as its predecessor. Set in the manic world of New York real estate, High Maintenance is the story of Liv Kellerman, a young woman who's just left her husband and, more important, their fabulous penthouse apartment with its Empire State Building view. On her own for the first time in her life, she relocates to a crumbling Greenwich Village hovel and contemplates her next move. Before long she finds her true calling: selling real estate. With her native eye for prime properties and an ability to lie with a straight face, Liv finds success and soon is swimming with the sharks-the hardcore, cutthroat brokers who'll do anything to close a deal. Along the way she picks up a maniacally ardent architect who likes to bite her, a few hilarious bosses, strange and exasperating clients, and a gun, and brings them with her on her search for the one thing she's really after: a home. Belle's gift for creating strange and winning characters and her acute observations of both the absurd and the poignant in everyday life are the hallmarks of her fiction. High Maintenance is generous and unsparing, tough and exciting and terrifically smart—a hot new property on the market.