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Snarky in the Suburbs

Snarky in the Suburbs
Author: Snarky N. Burbs
Publisher:
Total Pages: 212
Release: 2012-12-11
Genre: Middle-aged women
ISBN: 9780615741963
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The Spring Creek Elementary School PTA Board, a coven of Mean Moms dressed in Uggs, yoga pants, and dermal filler, is up to no good, and Wynn Butler (middle-aged, uncool and not bringing sexy back) is determined to find out what's going on. With help from her two kids, a Roomba vacuum turned mobile surveillance drone, and a few close friends, Wynn launches a covert investigation that leads to the mother of all revenge capers at the school's annual Fall Festival. If you've ever fantasized about smoke bombing the idiot parent who has yet to master the fine art of the school drop-off lane or standing up and shouting "Liar, liar Botox on fire!" during a PTA meeting, then this delicious tale of payback is for you. Based on the popular blog, Snarky in the Suburbs, that was recently optioned by ABC for film and television rights.

Snarky in the Suburbs Trouble in Texas

Snarky in the Suburbs Trouble in Texas
Author: Sherry Claypool Kuehl
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2015-01-12
Genre: Middle-aged women
ISBN: 9781507531518
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Wynn Butler is ready to kill her mother . . . or at the very least demand she gets a psych evaluation and an MRI. On Wynn's yearly pilgrimage to Trask, Texas, to visit her parents what she hoped would be a relaxing visit (not counting the family reunion which has all the charm of a zombie apocalypse) has turned into a Texas-sized, hot mess! Her 69-year-old mother Gwynn Crockett Martin has become an entrepreneur and opened up a cupcake bakery that seems to be doing double duty as a halfway house for economically battered Junior League dropouts. If that's not enough to make Wynn want to turn tail and run home, her mom is hell bent on convincing her to "heed the call of Jesus" and come to the aid of a woman that made Wynn miserable in high school - Sara Beth Bishop. And by aid, Wynn's mother means concoct a plan to exact epic revenge on Sara Beth's lying, cheating, spray tanning, money stealing ex-husband and his new wife, snob-of-the-millennium, Yale Greenly. Things go from bad to worse when Wynn finds herself embroiled in a scheme that involves breaking and entering, theft, assault, livestock wrangling, killer mold, impersonating a maid, hair spray bomb fabrication and crashing the town's poshest society event of the year - THE Mohair Palace Pageant. If Wynn can survive this visit home without doing time in the ER, jail, or both, it will be a miracle! Hang on to your hat and saddle up for a retribution rodeo or, as Wynn's mom calls it . . . "justice served up Lone Star style."

When Life Gives You Lululemons

When Life Gives You Lululemons
Author: Lauren Weisberger
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Total Pages: 352
Release: 2019-05-07
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1476778450
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“The Devil Wears Prada’s Emily Charlton gets the spin-off she deserves” (Cosmopolitan) in the months-long New York Times bestseller from Lauren Weisberger in which three women team up to bring a bad man down in the tony suburb of Greenwich, Connecticut. Welcome to Greenwich, Connecticut, where the lawns and the women are perfectly manicured, the Tito’s and sodas are extra strong, and everyone has something to say about the infamous new neighbor. Let’s be clear: Emily Charlton does not do the suburbs. After leaving Miranda Priestly, she’s been working in Hollywood as an image consultant to the stars, but recently, Emily’s lost a few clients. She’s hopeless with social media. The new guard is nipping at her heels. She needs a big opportunity, and she needs it now. When Karolina Hartwell, a gorgeous former supermodel, is arrested, her fall from grace is merciless. Her senator-husband leaves her, her Beltway friends disappear, and the tabloids pounce. In Karolina, Emily finds her comeback opportunity. But she quickly learns Greenwich is a world apart and that this comeback needs a team approach. So it is that Emily, the scorned Karolina, and their mutual friend Miriam, a powerful attorney turned stay-at-home mom, band together to navigate the social land mines of suburban Greenwich and win back the hearts of the American public. Along the way, an unexpected ally emerges in one Miranda Priestly. With her signature wit, Lauren Weisberger offers an alluring look into a sexy, over-the-top world—and proves it’s style and substance together that gets the job done. “A delicious sequel to The Devil Wears Prada…exploring what it’s like to be a woman buffeted by conflicting messages about career, relationships, and motherhood” (The Washington Post), When Life Gives You Lululemons is “amazing novel about…truth, lies and how everyone is a little bit insecure” (Associated Press). “Fast-paced, funny, and gossipy, this is the must-have accessory for your beach bag” (PopSugar).

The Lost Continent

The Lost Continent
Author: Bill Bryson
Publisher: VNR AG
Total Pages: 326
Release: 1989
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 9780060161583
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"I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to." And, as soon as Bill Bryson was old enough, he left. Des Moines couldn't hold him, but it did lure him back. After ten years in England he returned to the land of his youth, and drove almost 14,000 miles in search of a mythical small town called Amalgam, the kind of smiling village where the movies from his youth were set. Instead he drove through a series of horrific burgs, which he renamed Smellville, Fartville, Coleslaw, Coma, and Doldrum. At best his search led him to Anywhere, USA, a lookalike strip of gas stations, motels and hamburger outlets populated by obese and slow-witted hicks with a partiality for synthetic fibres. He discovered a continent that was doubly lost: lost to itself because he found it blighted by greed, pollution, mobile homes and television; lost to him because he had become a foreigner in his own country.

Everything Is Wrong with Me

Everything Is Wrong with Me
Author: Jason Mulgrew
Publisher: Harper Collins
Total Pages: 244
Release: 2010-03-02
Genre: Literary Criticism
ISBN: 0061978434
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“People who grow up like this tend to become agoraphobics, serial killers, or really funny writers. Mulgrew, I think – hope? – is the last of these three things. His stories of childhood made me laugh out loud.” — Rob McElhenney, star, creator, and producer of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia “The somewhat alarming, always interesting world inside Jason’s brain has now been strewn across the pages of a book. Godspeed, reader.” — Steve Hely, author of How I Became a Famous Novelist Jason Mulgrew’s wildly popular blog “Everything Is Wrong With Me: 30, Bipolar and Hungry,” gives rise to a memoir of startling insight, comedy, and irreversible, unconscionable stupidity.

The Adults

The Adults
Author: Alison Espach
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 322
Release: 2011-02-01
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1439191875
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From the author of the Read with Jenna Today show book club pick The Wedding People, a ruefully funny and wickedly perceptive debut novel that deftly dissects matters of the heart and captures the lives of children and adults as they come to terms with life, death, and love. At the center of this affluent suburban universe is Emily Vidal, a smart and snarky teenager, who gets involved in a dangerous relationship. Among the cast of unforgettable characters is Emily’s father, whose fiftieth birthday party has the adults descending upon the Vidals' patio; her mother, who has orchestrated the elaborate party even though she and her husband are getting a divorce; and an assortment of eccentric neighbors, high school teachers, and teenagers who teem with anxiety and sexuality and an unbridled desire to be noticed, and ultimately loved. An irresistible chronicle of a modern young woman’s struggle to grow up, The Adults lays bare—in perfect pitch—a world where an adult and a child can so dangerously be mistaken for the same exact thing.

Grounded for All Eternity

Grounded for All Eternity
Author: Darcy Marks
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 400
Release: 2022-07-26
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1534483381
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A group of kids from hell come to Earth on one of the craziest nights of the year—Halloween—in this “entertaining, high-octane” (Kirkus Reviews) middle grade adventure about teamwork, friendship, shattering expectations, and understanding the world (or otherworld) around us. Malachi and his friends are just your regular average kids from hell. The suburbs that is, not the fiery pit part. But when Hell’s Bells ring out—signaling that a soul has escaped from one of the eternal circles, Mal and his friends can’t help but take the opportunity for a little adventure. Before they know it, they’ve somehow slipped through the veil and found themselves in the middle of Salem, Massachusetts, on Halloween night. And what’s even worse, they’ve managed to bring the escaped soul with them! As the essence of one of history’s greatest manipulators gains power by shifting the balance on Earth, Mal and his squad-mates—along with some new friends that they meet along the way—work desperately to trap the escapee, save the people of Earth from the forces of evil, and find the portal back to their own dimension. If they can’t manage it before their parents realize they’re gone, they’ll be grounded for an eternity. And an eternity in hell is a very, very long time.

How to Leave

How to Leave
Author: Erin Clune
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA
Total Pages: 272
Release: 2018-10-09
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1632868563
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An uproarious memoir/tongue-in-cheek guide to leaving the cool city in which you "found" yourself and moving somewhere far more ordinary. So you escaped whatever humdrum little town you grew up in and moved to The Big City. Maybe it was New York. Maybe it was Seattle or Kansas City. Wherever it was, there was amazing stuff everywhere you turned: Ethiopian food! A movie theater that played documentaries! A hairstylist who knew what to do with frizz! You overlooked the crime rates (edgy!), the proximity of your kitchen to your bed (convenient!), and the fact that you had to take public transportation to see nature, then had to share it with millions of other cranky, naked mole-rat apartment dwellers (urban!). But then you got a job offer you couldn't refuse. Or you developed asthma. Or you got pregnant. Or you got pregnant for the second time and you couldn't use your closet as a bedroom for two babies. And you decided you had to leave. When Frank Sinatra and Alicia Keys said that if you could make it in New York, you could make it anywhere, they probably weren't talking about the middle of nowhere or whatever suburb you used to make fun of. Because "making it" is really hard to do without world-class museums and gourmet food trucks. Erin Clune regales readers with priceless stories of her own experiences leaving New York for her hometown in Wisconsin, and provides a jocular but useful guide--for anyone leaving, or thinking about leaving, their own personal mecca--to finding contentment while staying true to yourself in a place far, far away from The City.

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

People I Want to Punch in the Throat
Author: Jen Mann
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Total Pages: 226
Release: 2014-09-09
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0345549988
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NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

The Self-Made Widow

The Self-Made Widow
Author: Fabian Nicieza
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 401
Release: 2022-06-21
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0593191293
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From the cocreator of Deadpool and author of Suburban Dicks comes a diabolically funny murder mystery that features two unlikely sleuths investigating a murder that reveals the dark underbelly of suburban marriage. After mother of five and former FBI profiler Andie Stern solved a murder—and unraveled a decades-old conspiracy—in her New Jersey town, both her husband and the West Windsor police hoped that she would set aside crime-fighting and go back to carpools, changing diapers, and lunches with her group of mom-friends, who she secretly calls The Cellulitists. Even so, Andie can’t help but get involved when the husband of Queen Bee Molly Goode is found dead. Though all signs point to natural causes, Andie begins to dig into the case and soon risks more than just the clique’s wrath, because what she discovers might hit shockingly close to home. Meanwhile, journalist Kenny Lee is enjoying a rehabilitated image after his success as Andie’s sidekick. But when an anonymous phone call tips him off that Molly Goode killed her husband, he’s soon drawn back into the thicket of suburban scandals, uncovering secrets, affairs, and a huge sum of money. Hellbent on justice and hoping not to kill each other in the process, Andie and Kenny dust off their suburban sleuthing caps once again.