Mommy Ant Eat Your Vegetables PDF Download

**Winner of the 2015 Bronze IPPY in Humor** PUBLISHERS WEEKLY REVIEW: Turner is back and better than ever in this comedic sequel to This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store, as reliably honest and zany storytelling conveys both joys and trials of parenthood. Turner, an Idaho mother raising two young daughters, has an opinion on everything, including buffets (they bear responsibility for "what's wrong with this country"); writers' retreats and how to measure the quality of someone's writing by how much he or she talks about it ("excessive babbling" is an "attempt to compensate for crippling insecurity"); and a parenting technique she calls "Willful Denial of Fact." Vignettes range from botched chemical peels, her children's Mandarin classes, endeavors to use a Slip ‘n Slide, and six months in Mexico with the in-laws. Readers will be pleased to see familiar characters reprise their roles from Turner's first book, such as brother-in-law Virgil, who tells everyone that Turner's father is Dean Koontz, "the guy who wrote The Shining." Turner's unapologetic confessional is easy to relate to, and she succeeds in finding humor and entertainment in even the most mundane trials of motherhood. In the hilarious sequel to the bestselling "momoir" This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store, A.K. Turner returns with the mayhem of motherhood. From preschoolers blurting obscenities in public places to living with her in-laws in Mexico, Mommy Had a Little Flask delivers a delightfully raw and honest account of family life in Turner's latest laugh-out-loud confessional. “It’s rare for a writer to actually make me laugh out loud, but A.K. Turner does just that.” —Robin O'Bryant, New York Times bestselling author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “I laughed out loud at Mommy Had a Little Flask, but make no mistake, this book is equally heartfelt and humorous as A.K. Turner delves into all the wonders, challenges and horrifying playground moments of parenting – the most extreme sport there is.” —Cameron Morfit, Sports Illustrated “A.K. Turner is always hilarious, and she doesn’t disappoint.” —Jen Mann, New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat “The thing that I can’t get over with A.K. Turner is that she is endlessly fresh. Funny, always, but fresh, sweet funny that keeps me coming back again and again...and craving more. Always can’t wait to read her latest.” —Meredith Spidel, The Mom of the Year “A.K. Turner can turn even the simplest family story into a rollicking, outrageous, hilarious adventure. Buckle up!” —Michelle Newman, You’re My Favorite Today, contributor to the bestselling humor anthologies I Just Want to Pee Alone and I Just Want to Be Alone, and Community Contributor at Entertainment Weekly “A.K. Turner is the best friend that we dream of having: someone who is smart and eloquent and doesn’t take herself or her life too seriously. That is what makes all of her books so fabulous, you can’t help but envision yourself right alongside of her, cheering her on, laughing out loud and thanking your lucky stars that you have her in your life.” —Lynn Morrison, The Nomad Mom Diary, Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Bloggers, Circle of Moms Top 25 European Bloggers, and contributor to BLUNTmoms and The Huffington Post “A.K. Turner’s writing manages to be both hilarious and heartfelt at the same time. When I read her words, I find myself laughing to the point of tears one minute and then crying real tears the next. It’s writing that makes you feel something. Something real and deep and honest. Which is how writing should be.” —Deva Dalporto, My Life Suckers