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Knowing and Not Knowing in Intimate Relationships

Knowing and Not Knowing in Intimate Relationships
Author: Paul C. Rosenblatt
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
Total Pages: 207
Release: 2013-07-25
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1107435625

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In the extensive literature on couples and intimacy, little has been written about knowing and not knowing as people experience and understand them. Based on intensive interviews with thirty-seven adults, this book shows that knowing and not knowing are central to couple relationships. They are entangled in love, sexual attraction, trust, commitment, caring, empathy, decision making, conflict, and many other aspects of couple life. Often the entanglement is paradoxical. For example, many interviewees revealed that they hungered to be known and yet kept secrets from their partner. Many described working hard at knowing their partner well, and yet there were also things about their partner and their partner's past that they wanted not to know. This book's qualitative, phenomenological approach builds on and adds to the largely quantitative social psychological, communications and family field literature to offer a new and accessible insight into the experience of intimacy.


Couples

Couples
Author: Barry Dym
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Total Pages: 296
Release: 1993
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 9780060167134

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"Everyone, in or out of a relationship, has wondered how couples work, and what makes them successful or unsuccessful, long-lasting or short-term. In this insightful, refreshingly nonjudgmental book, Barry Dym, Ph.D., and Michael Glenn, M.D., chart the stages of a couple's journey together, and offer a provocative glimpse of the complex birth and development of intimate partnerships." "At the heart of Couples, the authors identify three distinct yet recurring stages common to all enduring relationships. We learn that couples begin with a period of Expansion and Promise - a time when each individual feels somehow larger, more witty and charming, in short, the best person that he or she can be. The intensity of Expansion cannot last though, and inevitably will move into Contraction - we each pull back into our more habitual ways, enact or demand more stereotypical gender roles, and feel disappointed and betrayed. Couples who weather the storm of Contraction (and long-term couples will experience many of them) will resolve their struggles and move into a time of Resolution, when intimacy is renewed and each individual can become more complete, containing both their "best" and "worst" selves." "But Couples is much more than a map. Illustrating their ideas with in-depth examples, Drs. Dym and Glenn reveal how a couple's identity is shaped by these stages and the powerful cultural expectations of society, friends, and family who tell us what a couple should be. Couples analyzes how recurrent patterns are established, and the impact of gender issues, children, and the serious crises that occur in any lifetime. Finally, the authors offer accessible suggestions for applying these concepts to one's own relationship, guiding couples and individuals in how to manage their own periods of turmoil and transition." "Original, engaging, and thoughtful, Couples uncovers the essence of our most intimate relationship - ultimately, it offers a striking portrait not just of whom we love (and why), but who we are."--BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved


On Not Knowing

On Not Knowing
Author: Emily Ogden
Publisher: University of Chicago Press
Total Pages: 129
Release: 2022-04-20
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 022675135X

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"Emily Ogden's On Not Knowing is at once a memoir and suite of pointed inquiries. Her brief, sharply observed essays invite the reader to think with her about problems she can't set aside: not knowing how to give birth, to listen, to hold it together, to love. Ogden moves nimbly across registers of experience, from the operation of a breast pump to the art of herding cattle; from one-night stands to the stories of Edgar Allan Poe; from kayaking near a whale to psychoanalytic meditation on drowning. Unapologetically personal in its range of reference and idiosyncratic in its canon, On Not Knowing takes for its subject neither a life nor a library, but a cherished world. Ultimately, Ogden wants to teach herself to resist the temptation of knowingness: to encounter passionate love, well remembered art, and the new lives of her children without forearming herself with a sense that these things are already understood. Committed, as a scholar, to the accumulation of knowledge, Ogden nonetheless finds that knowingness is, for her, a way of getting stuck, a way of not really living. These essays want to learn with us to resist the temptation to cling to the wall at the edge of the pool, and instead to swim"--


Intimate Relationships

Intimate Relationships
Author: Stephen Wolinsky
Publisher: Quantum Institute Incorporated
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2000
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 9780967036243

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Unrealistic expectations are the culprit in relationship problems. Dr Wolinsky looks at the root causes of unrealistic expectations: separation, resistance to separation, and desire for merger. It is the unresolved resistance to separation which leads people to expect partners to act as parents and fulfil past-time needs in the present. The further extension of this subconscious demand is not 'seeing' or experiencing the partner as a human being in the present.


The Wisdom of Not Knowing

The Wisdom of Not Knowing
Author: Estelle Frankel
Publisher: Shambhala Publications
Total Pages: 257
Release: 2017-02-14
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 0834840774

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Indie Book Awards Winner A deeply affirming exploration of the unknown—with meditations and exercises for transforming the fear and uncertainty of ‘not knowing’ into a sense of openness, curiosity, and bravery For most of us, the unknown is both friend and foe. At times, it can be a source of paralyzing fear and uncertainty. At other times, it can be a starting point for transformation, creativity, and growth. The unknown is a deep current that runs throughout all religions and mystical traditions, plays an important role in contemporary psychotheraputic thought and practice, and is essential to personal growth and healing. In The Wisdom of Not Knowing, psychotherapist Estelle Frankel shows us that our psychological, emotional, and spiritual health is radically influenced by how comfortable we are with navigating the unknown and uncertain dimensions of our lives. Drawing on insights from Kabbalah, depth psychology, Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, and ancient myth, Frankel explores how we can grow our souls by tapping into the wisdom of not knowing. She also includes case studies of individuals who have grappled with fears of the unknown and, as a result, come out wiser, stronger, and more resilient. Each chapter includes experiential exercises and meditations for befriending the unknown, conveying how embracing a state of "not knowing" is the key to gaining new knowledge, learning to bear uncertainty, and enjoying a healthy sense of adventure and curiosity.


Uncoupling

Uncoupling
Author: Diane Vaughan
Publisher: Vintage
Total Pages: 274
Release: 1990-09-05
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 0679730028

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Drawing from extensive research and in-depth interviews, an invaluable guide for anyone who wants to understand—or prevent—the collapse of a relationship. How do relationships end? Why does one partner suddenly become discontented with the other—and why is the onset of that discontentment not so sudden after all? What signals do partners send each other to indicate their doubts? Why do those signals so often go unnoticed? And how do people who saw themselves as part of a couple come to terms not just with absence and abandonment, but with a new, single identity? This groundbreaking book reveals a process that begins in secret but gradually becomes public, implicating not only partners but their social milieu. Enlightening, accessible, and deeply affecting, Uncoupling offers a startling vision of what really happens behind the surface when relationships come apart.


Enchanted Love

Enchanted Love
Author: Marianne Williamson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 179
Release: 2013-12-17
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1439127077

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Three of Marianne Williamson's previous bestsellers -- A Return to Love, A Woman's Worth, and Illuminata -- explored the issue of relationships. Now, in this deeply personal collection of essays, prayers, and self-reflection, she turns to romantic love. In Illuminata, Williamson wrote that "we experience God to the extent to which we love, forgive, and focus on the good in others and ourselves." Now, in Enchanted Love, she writes that "enchanted partnership begins with the conscious understanding, on the part of two people, that the purpose of their relationship is not so much material as spiritual, and the internal skills demanded by it are prodigious." High romance, she says, "is not about past or future. It is not about practicality. It is not about society or worldly routines. It is an audacious ride to the center of what is, at the heart of every person. It is a bold and masterful inquiry into what two people really are and how we might become, while still on earth, the angels who reside within us."


Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong

Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong
Author: Pepper Schwartz
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 289
Release: 2001-10-01
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 0399527125

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From the media to our mothers, others have taught us certain rules about intimacy and love. But what if these rules are wrong? Or even harmful? Sociologist and relationship expert Pepper Schwartz questions these assumptions, challenges our values, and breaks rules. She offers fresh alternatives and solutions that fit our needs as individuals—and shows that by letting go of traditional rules that don't suit us, we can achieve complete satisfaction in our intimate lives.


Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator

Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator
Author: Amy Gahran
Publisher:
Total Pages:
Release: 2017-02-03
Genre:
ISBN: 9780998647012

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Love is not one-size-fits-all, yet often people assume that healthy, serious relationships all must follow the same basic path. The -Relationship Escalator- is society's bundle of customs for intimate relationships: monogamy, living together, marriage and more, ideally until death do you part. Beyond this, it might not be obvious what your options are. This book will help you: - Discover less common relationship options that might suit you. - Understand why and how people have unconventional relationships. - Empower you to negotiate about how your relationships work. - Overcome the fear that loving differently means you're doing it wrong. - Make the world a friendlier, safer place for more paths to love. Featuring real stories and insights from hundreds of people, -Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator- explores consensual nonmonogamy, love without living together, deep connections that pause and resume, and much more. The first in a series of research-based books, this introduction to relationship diversity is both accessible and surprising. LEARN MORE OR ORDER SIGNED COPIES: OffEscalator.com


You're Not Listening

You're Not Listening
Author: Kate Murphy
Publisher: Celadon Books
Total Pages: 304
Release: 2020-01-07
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1250297206

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When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you? "If you’re like most people, you don’t listen as often or as well as you’d like. There’s no one better qualified than a talented journalist to introduce you to the right mindset and skillset—and this book does it with science and humor." -Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Originals and Give and Take **Hand picked by Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, Susan Cain, and Daniel Pink for Next Big Ideas Club** "An essential book for our times." -Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation. On social media, we shape our personal narratives. At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians. We’re not listening. And no one is listening to us. Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here. In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.