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I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It

I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It
Author: Rita Rudner
Publisher: Crown Archetype
Total Pages: 274
Release: 2008-05-13
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0307449475

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I bought a new wrinkle cream. If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month. Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks. I ate it. As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging: LASIK surgery, industrial-strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty-ninth birthday parties. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she turned fifty, she couldn’t even bear to say the word. In I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It, Rudner writes with humor and candor about all of the small indignities and everyday absurdities that have become standard fare. From the perils of catalog-ordering addiction to the challenges of keeping up with the latest in electronics, lingerie, and reality television to the joys and worries of being an older mother to the long search for the perfect retirement house, Rita covers it all. So put on your bifocals and power up your sense of humor! Just don’t blame Rita when your laugh lines get visibly deeper. Refreshingly honest and undeniably hilarious, I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It is a laugh-out-loud look at the wonders and the surprises of life on the dark side of fifty.


I've Still Got It...I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It

I've Still Got It...I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It
Author: Jenna McCarthy
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 335
Release: 2014-07-01
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 0698145860

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Welcome to Middle Age! Please check your functioning internal thermostat and razor-sharp memory at the door and pour yourself a nice, stiff drink... Jenna McCarthy might be forty-something, but she doesn’t feel forty-something. She certainly doesn’t look forty-something. (Actually she does, but she’s in denial so maybe don’t mention it?) And between complaining about how tired she is, trying to remember what she came in here for and wondering whether she drinks too much, she does not have time for a crisis. She has, however, had time to crack the mysterious midlife code. She’s figured out how to tame her muffin top, keep the spark in her marriage and probably not die a fiery hoarder’s death. She’s learned the trick to looking ten years younger and the secret to feeling ten times happier (and it only cost $14.99 plus shipping and handling). And she’s discovered the one thing she will need to do for the rest of ever if she’s going to continue to refuse to “dress her age.” Tackling everything from cosmetic surgery and financial panic to skinny jeans and the meaning of life, I’ve Still Got It... is a middle age manifesto filled with hilarious misadventures, humiliating confessions and occasional (hot) flashes of genius.


I Still Have It ... I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It

I Still Have It ... I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It
Author: Rita Rudner
Publisher: Crown
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2009-05-05
Genre: Aging
ISBN: 9780307394606

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While there are people who actually embrace getting older (although we confess not to know any) most try to deny it. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she reached 50, she couldn't even bear to admit it: "It was more comfortable getting a laugh and telling people I was filthy than having to say the word fffiffffty," she writes. In her hysterically dead-on book I Still Have It...I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It, she relates her absurd adventures as a woman of a certain age navigating the strange and terrifyingly funny world of "near-sighted insights." In chapters such as "Artificially Hip"; "Older Than Springtime, Younger Than Angela Lansbury"; "I Won't Blog, Don't Ask Me"; and "The Advantage of Vintage," Rudner tackles body issues, style, and technology, and looks at the wonders and surprises of life on the dark side of 50. So put on your bifocals and get ready to laugh. Just don't blame Rita if your laugh lines become visibly deeper. "Sexy deadpan is comedian Rita Rudner's trademark style, never more in evidence than in I Still Have It ... I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It ... Pure vaudeville, a kick at any age."--O, The Oprah Magazine


House Document

House Document
Author:
Publisher:
Total Pages: 1704
Release: 1998
Genre: Government publications
ISBN:

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Devil's Church 2

Devil's Church 2
Author: Lee Pearce
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
Total Pages: 185
Release: 2023-03-06
Genre: Fiction
ISBN:

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This is a book about history and religion and wisdom if you are going too be sucked in by Jehovah witnesses and the Vatican you need too read this book it tells all about Jehovah and what priests are doing and what they are making you think. This book is for all people young and wise too old and unwise. This book is too tell you that if you are wise and normal. When you die and are good you will go too heaven. With billions of other beings that have left the earth.so too be a god or goddess. All you. Need too do is not sin.and do or have good thoughts.


Breathless

Breathless
Author:
Publisher: Forever Is Too Short
Total Pages: 224
Release:
Genre:
ISBN: 1300843233

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The Aurovingian

The Aurovingian
Author: E. R. Odhomi
Publisher: E.R. Odhomi
Total Pages: 297
Release: 2012-02
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1463670672

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In the ancient world of the Inner Realm a young slave blacksmith named Aurovin in servitude of an evil empire, is chosen by the slave leaders of his people to escape and embark on a perilous journey to find new lands where they can live as a free tribe. But Aurovin's journey is greatly hindered by a brewing rift between the great powers of the Inner Realm. This rift escalates after king Pavros, overlord of the Muldovene Empire, barely escapes a botched assassination on his life. The Muldovene king sets his eyes on the empire's arch-enemy as the primary culprit; the Warrior King Sapien, and the kingdom of Arencia. Aurovin's journey and perils are gradually intertwined into the numerous events and conflicts that will inevitably lead to the Great War. During his journey, Aurovin encounters several characters such as Belciender and Zaadu, two young adventurers from Arencia who are on a mission on behalf of their king to the kingdom of Traccia to unravel a growing conspiracy that may further threatens the sovereignty of the Arencian realm. He also meets Janus, a burly jester whom Aurovin saves while escaping the clutches of a powerful enemy from a dungeon. All four eventually join forces together to battle an evil order bent on attaining absolute power over the Inner Realm. Unfortunately, as Aurovin makes new friends and acquaintances, the young blacksmith makes just as many enemies on his lone quest, most notably the handmaster, the devious and diabolic master of the order of the Dark Hand, who searches for an ancient power that will grant the holder control over the most unstoppable army ever assembled, one even more powerful than the empire's. These villainous characters, such as king Pavros, the handmaster, along with many others, will undoubtedly reshape Aurovin's perspective of the cultures and politics of the Inner Realm beyond the confines of his humble home and people, and this forces him to doubt if there really is a better world for his people outside the empire. This climatic struggle between good and evil will finally culminate on the battlefield between the armies of the all powerful empire and its allies against the legendary warrior king, Sapien and his undefeated Arencian army. Aurovin's journey is filled with death, betrayal, deception, superstition, mythology and love in world where only the wisest and the most cunning will be strong enough to attain ultimate power, and the weak and cowardly will be forced into servitude. Only time will tell if the blacksmith attains victory and finally finds the 'Promise Land' that was prophesied by the oracle of his people.


The Collected Works: Plays, Novels, Articles, Letters and Essays

The Collected Works: Plays, Novels, Articles, Letters and Essays
Author: George Bernard Shaw
Publisher: e-artnow
Total Pages: 4388
Release: 2017-07-31
Genre: Literary Collections
ISBN: 8026839420

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This carefully crafted ebook: “The Collected Works: Plays, Novels, Articles, Letters and Essays” is formatted for your eReader with a functional and detailed table of contents. George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950) was an Irish playwright, essayist, novelist and short story writer and wrote more than 60 plays. He is the only person to have been awarded both a Nobel Prize in Literature (1925) and an Academy Award (1938), for his contributions to literature and for his work on the film Pygmalion (an adaptation of his own play) Content: Novels: Cashel Byron's Profession An Unsocial Socialist Love Among The Artists The Irrational Knot Plays: Widowers' Houses The Philanderer Mrs. Warren's Profession The Man Of Destiny Arms And The Man Candida You Never Can Tell The Devil's Disciple Captain Brassbound's Conversion Caesar And Cleopatra The Gadfly or The Son of the Cardinal The Admirable Bashville Man And Superman John Bull's Other Island How He Lied To Her Husband Major Barbara Passion, Poison, And Petrifaction The Doctor's Dilemma The Interlude At The Playhouse Getting Married The Shewing-Up Of Blanco Posnet Press Cuttings Misalliance The Dark Lady Of The Sonnets Fanny's First Play Androcles And The Lion Overruled Pygmalion Great Catherine The Music Cure O'Flaherty, V. C. Macbeth Skit Glastonbury Skit The Inca Of Perusalem Augustus Does His Bit Skit For The Tiptaft Revue Annajanska, The Bolshevik Empress Heartbreak House Back To Methuselah War Indemnities What do Men of Letters Say? On Socialism The Miraculous Revenge Quintessence Of Ibsenism Basis of Socialism The Transition to Social Democracy The Impossibilities Of Anarchism The Perfect Wagnerite Letter to Beatrice Webb The New Theology Memories of Oscar Wilde The Revolutionist's Handbook And Pocket Companion Maxims For Revolutionists The New Theology How to Write A Popular Play Memories of Oscar Wilde George Bernard Shaw The Quintessence of Shaw Old and New Masters...