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How You Ruined My Life

How You Ruined My Life
Author: Jeff Strand
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
Total Pages: 320
Release: 2018-04-03
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 1492662038

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A new hilarious novel from the author of The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever and Stranger Things Have Happened. Rod's life doesn't suck. If you ask him, it's pretty awesome. He may not be popular, but he and his best friends play in a band that has a standing gig. Yeah, it's Monday night and they don't get paid, but they can turn the volume up as loud as they want. And Rod's girlfriend is hot, smart, and believes in their band—believes in Rod. Aside from a winning lottery ticket, what more could he ask for? Answer: A different cousin. When Rod's scheming, two-faced cousin Blake moves in for the semester, Rod tries to keep calm. Blake seems to have everyone else fooled with good manners and suave smile, except Rod knows better. Blake is taking over his room, taking over his band, taking over his life! But Rod's not about to give up without a fight. Game on. May the best prankster win...


Fiction Ruined My Family

Fiction Ruined My Family
Author: Jeanne Darst
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 207
Release: 2011-09-29
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1101547847

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"Beautifully paced . . . heartbreaking and hilarious."—USA Today Augusten Burroughs meets Mary Karr: a deeply funny and wickedly entertaining family memoir. The youngest of four daughters in an old, celebrated St. Louis family-- of prominent journalists and politicians on one side, debutantes and equestrians on the other-- Jeanne Darst grew up hearing stories of past grandeur. And the message she internalized as a young girl was clear: While things might be a bit tight for us right now, it’s only temporary. Soon her father would sell the Great American Novel and reclaim the family’s former glory. The Darsts move from St. Louis to New York, and Jeanne’s father writes one novel, then another, which don’t find publishers. This, combined with her mother’s burgeoning alcoholism, lead to financial disaster and divorce. And as Jeanne becomes an adult, she is horrified to discover that she is not only a drinker like her mother, but a writer like her father. At first, and for years, she embraces both activities— and until she can stop putting drinking and writing ahead of everything else, it’s a questionable choice. Ultimately, Darst sets out to discover whether a person can have the writing without the ruin, whether it’s possible to be both sober and creative, ambitious and happy, a professional author and a parent. Filled with brilliantly flawed, idiosyncratic characters and punctuated by Darst’s irreverent eye for absurdity, Fiction Ruined My Family is a lovingly told, wickedly funny portrait of an unconventional life.


Wesley James Ruined My Life

Wesley James Ruined My Life
Author: Jennifer Honeybourn
Publisher: Macmillan
Total Pages: 256
Release: 2017-07-18
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 1250123747

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Coworker, childhood friend, and worst enemy: the changing dynamics of friendship (and maybe...relationship?) are front and center in this charming debut novel with equal amounts of wit and heart. Quinn is having a rough summer. Her beloved grandmother has been put into a nursing home, her dad’s gambling addiction has flared back up, and now her worst enemy is back in town: Wesley James, former childhood friend and life ruiner. So when Wesley is hired to work with her at Tudor Tymes, a medieval England-themed restaurant, the last thing Quinn’s going to do is forgive and forget. She’s determined to remove him from her life and even the score for once and for all—by getting him fired. But getting rid of Wesley isn’t as easy as she’d hoped. When Quinn finds herself falling for him, she has to decide what she wants more: to get even, or to get the boy. Wesley James Ruined My Life is an engaging romp through rivalry and restaurants from debut author Jennifer Honeybourn and chosen by readers like you for Macmillan's young adult imprint Swoon Reads. Praise for Wesley James Ruined My Life: "An easy, breezy, fun read." —VOYA “The book’s even pacing will entice teens from the start and keep them reading...this [is a] pitch-perfect quirky summer romance.” —School Library Journal “The writing is excellent, pacing spot-on, and main character’s voice is sweet and funny.” —Lisa Buscemi Reiss, reader on SwoonReads.com


Jane Austen Ruined My Life

Jane Austen Ruined My Life
Author: Beth Pattillo
Publisher:
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2023-04-04
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 9780998818757

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Once upon a time, I believed in romance, thanks mostly to Jane Austen and my happy-ever-after peddling mother. I believed in love and soul mates until the day I found my professor husband compromising his teaching assistant on our kitchen table. As a lowly adjunct professor, I bore the brunt of the fallout. Suddenly, I was divorced, without a job, and in possession of a vendetta against one Jane Austen. Then the mysterious letter arrived. If I would come to London, a benefactor would put in my possession the lost letters of Jane Austen, letters believed to have been destroyed by her sister. I flew to London ready to expose all of Austen's secrets, but what I didn't expect was to run into my old friend Adam. I also didn't expect The Formidables, my mysterious benefactors, to send me on a Jane Austen treasure hunt before I could take possession of all the letters. And I certainly didn't expect to run into my first love, or to be pursued by a mysterious stranger. My journey takes me from the posh streets of Mayfair to the Hampshire countryside to the Regency splendor of the historic city of Bath. In the midst of uncovering Jane Austen's secrets - and her secret love-I might just learn that maybe Jane Austen didn't ruin my life after all.


I Almost Ruined My Marriage

I Almost Ruined My Marriage
Author: Eno Jerry
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Total Pages: 80
Release: 2017-09-12
Genre:
ISBN: 9781976019975

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At some point in my life, I prayed to God, believing that one day, I would be swept off my feet by my prince charming. I remember praying at a young age to be married to a man that loves God and has the fear of God in him. I knew what I wanted, or at best, I thought I knew what I wanted. Most times, we wish and pray for things without understanding that our wishes aren't as simple as they seem and may probably have their implications. To pray for a prince charming, you need to be a princess beauty. The prince charming also has expectations of his bride and you need to fit that mould. Without knowing it, I carried a lot of baggage into my marriage. This load of baggage was capable of ruining my marriage. Wait a minute, did I say capable of ruining my marriage? Scratch that. This load of baggage almost ruined my marriage. In Proverbs 14: 1, the Bible says, "a wise woman builds her home but a foolish woman tears it down with her hands." Did you notice what the Bible says in that Scripture? The foolish woman does not need any kind of help pulling down her home. She can do it all by herself. Her own actions or inaction are enough to completely ruin her home. At some point in my life, I was this foolish woman. I know this probably sounds shocking but 'foolish' was what I was at that time. Sadly, there abound many foolish women who have destroyed their marriages and homes. Some others are in the process of destroying their marriages. Some marriages are being endured rather than enjoyed. Some married people are struggling to put the pieces of their homes together while some feel that it can't be put back together again. It is unfortunate that some women are completely at a loss of what to do to save their ailing marriages. Some others who know what to do to save their homes allow pride stop them from doing it. My journey in the early years of marriage was quite painful and enduring. Nothing I knew seemed to make sense anymore. All the seemingly harmless habits I got away with in the course of my life as a single became a challenge in marriage. When you marry a near-perfect man like I did, your flaws become so glaring. The sad truth is that before I got married, I never considered these habits as flaws. Have you ever found yourself saying things like: "This is how I have always been and people accepted and liked me"? Have you also found yourself saying to your spouse, "Hey, you met me like this; why is this now a big deal"? Oh, I said this a thousand and one times. I just couldn't understand how anyone will want me to change. Who I was had taken me so many years to become, so why was I supposed to change just because I got married. Hmmm, that was a difficult one for me to crack. In this book, I will be sharing my journey so far, what I had to learn in the process and who I have become through my experiences.


The Year Shakespeare Ruined My Life

The Year Shakespeare Ruined My Life
Author: Dani Jansen
Publisher: Second Story Press
Total Pages: 217
Release: 2020-09-22
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 1772601225

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Alison Green, desperate Valedictorian-wannabe, agrees to produce her school’s disaster-prone production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Her second big mistake is accidentally saying yes to a date with her oldest friend, Jack, even though she’s crushing on Charlotte, the star of the play.


The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever

The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever
Author: Jeff Strand
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
Total Pages: 272
Release: 2016-03-01
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 1492628158

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After producing three horror movies that went mostly ignored on YouTube, Justin and his filmmaking buddies decide it's time they create something noteworthy, something epic. They're going to film the Greatest Zombie Movie Ever. They may not have money or a script, but they have passion. And, after a rash text message, they also have the beautiful Alicia Howtz-Justin's crush-as the lead. With only one month to complete their movie, a script that can't possibly get worse, and the hopes and dreams of Alicia on the line, Justin is feeling the pressure. Add to that a cast of uncooperative extras and incompetent production assistants, and Justin must face the sad, sad truth. He may actually be producing The Worst Zombie Movie Ever... "Fans of Strand's other novels of outrageous circumstance...will not be disappointed. A delightfully ludicrous read."-School Library Journal on I Have a Bad Feeling About This


Charlotte Brontë, You Ruined My Life

Charlotte Brontë, You Ruined My Life
Author: Barbara Ungar
Publisher:
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2011
Genre: Poetry
ISBN: 9780915380794

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Poetry. Jewish Studies. Ungar's diabolical book is both devilishly funny and devastatingly open about love, sex, marriage, and divorce. Selected for the Hilary Tham Capital Collection by Judge Denise Duhamel, who says, "Formally inventive, punch-in-the-guts honest, these poems are for romantics, cynics, and every kind of reader in between."


Nostalgia Has Ruined My Life

Nostalgia Has Ruined My Life
Author: Zarah Butcher-McGunnigle
Publisher:
Total Pages: 63
Release: 2021-08
Genre: Chronically ill
ISBN: 9781925818772

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From the discomfort of my own home I buy dresses, look up recipes, do online surveys. In Nostalgia Has Ruined My Life, an unnamed young woman in her late twenties navigates unemployment, boredom, chronic illness and online dating. Her activities are banal -- applying for jobs, looking up horoscopes, managing depression, going on Tinder dates. 'I want to tell someone I love them but there is no one to tell,' she says. 'Except my sister maybe. I want to pick blackberries on a farm and then die.' She observes the ambiguities of social interactions, the absurd intimacies of sex and the indignity of everyday events, with a skepticism about the possibility of genuine emotion, or enlightenment. Like life, things are just unfolding, and sometimes, like life, they don't actually get better. Zarah Butcher-McGunnigle's novella-in-fragments blends artifice with sincerity, is darkly funny, and alive to the incongruous performance that constitutes getting by. 'Written in a fragmentary form reminiscent of Renata Adler, Nostalgia Has Ruined My Life, Zarah Butcher-McCunningle's deadpan fiction debut, documents an unnamed young protagonist's listless existence in an unnamed city. The book's droll dispatches from daily life under late capitalism recall the writing of the author's New Zealand contemporaries Hera Lindsay Bird and Eamonn Marra, but Butcher-McCunnigle's distinctive voice is her own... Nostalgia Has Ruined My Life is a grimly funny rendering of the absurdity of life in the 2020s--an era in which, with nowhere to turn, the hopeless millennial turns in on herself.' -- Kelsey Oldham, Books+Publishing Praise for Autobiography of a Marguerite: 'Workbook for surviving illness, guide to familial dysfunction and an intersection between fact and fiction...one of the most innovative New Zealand books published in recent years.' -- Booknotes 'Books of the Year' 'The writing goes to the aching heart of disconnection and of longing for repair...Butcher-McGunnigle has created a crooked beauty out of shards.' -- takahē magazine


How I Ruined My Life

How I Ruined My Life
Author: John Jackson
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
Total Pages: 222
Release: 2013-07-10
Genre:
ISBN: 9781490943855

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Who could possibly describe the misery you're about to read better than the narrator himself? From the beginning of the book: "I'm an idiot. That about covers it. I'm also a huge jerk, just a giant bag of worthless matter. After years and years of trying, I've finally managed to screw up my life completely. My mom always said not to give up. My dad always said, "Shut up and go to bed." I tried to go with my mom's advice on this one, but I still completely ruined my life. This is not one of those stories where the guy thinks things are bad and then they get better. I'm not going to learn some big lesson at the end or realize the profound truth of living. Don't believe me? Skip to the last page and read. Go ahead. I'll wait. Dare to be different and read the last page. There you go. See? There is no hope for this story, no happy ending. If you can't handle seeing a pretty decent guy destroy everything and everyone around him because of his own stupidity, stop reading now. I won't be offended. But, if you like that kind of thing because deep down you're a sadist, then let's keep on keeping on. This is the story of how I met the world's most perfect girl, and how I royally messed it up. Enjoy."