Date Like A Scoundrel 10 Things To Tell Ugly Chicks On A First Date PDF Download

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Date Like A Scoundrel: 10 Things to Tell Ugly Chicks on a First Date

Date Like A Scoundrel: 10 Things to Tell Ugly Chicks on a First Date
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 48
Release: 2016-08-16
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 1540113698

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I’ve no idea what’s going in that pea-brained mind of yours. Perhaps it’s all that crack you’ve been smoking. Who knows? And who cares? You are a scoundrel after all, so it isn’t hard to see your angle. Now you’ve set your sites on the ugliest girl in the room, if not on earth. Even though you’ve set the bar low—way low—you’re not sure how to proceed. Perhaps you could use some advice before pissing your precious time and money away? Good, for I have just the thing for you. From one scoundrel to another… Approximately 11,000 words.


Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks Is A Bad Idea

Five Reasons Why Dating Hot Chicks Is A Bad Idea
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages:
Release: 2014-08-25
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1624545386

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You found her! The hottest chick you've ever laid eyes on wants you and only you. But aren't you forgetting something? You're broke, and this chick is way out of your league. She's scorching hot and you're…well…lucky to have her. Or so you think… This short volume will help demystify the impact of a high maintenance hottie and encourage you to resist the urge to go into debt just to appease her. Approximately 7,000 words.


Like a Festering Ingrown Toenail--Where’s My Side of Toe Cheese?

Like a Festering Ingrown Toenail--Where’s My Side of Toe Cheese?
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 23
Release: 2016-05-08
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1533737649

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Earl Muggs wanted a wife. Instead, he got the devil, or close to it. His witch of a wife Helga doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, and certainly doesn’t polish yours truly. Gagnabbit! So what’s a man to do? Get revenge, that’s what! And mental midget Muggs knows just how… Approximately 1,200 words. WARNING: Contains toe cheese.


Fart Lover Supreme

Fart Lover Supreme
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 27
Release: 2020-01-24
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1393361803

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Kimberly Grant is ruthless, and wants a taco. Thankfully, she's found a sucker to give it to her. Big time. Approximately 2,800 words.


Bottling Farts, Inc. - Episode 9: Disillusioned

Bottling Farts, Inc. - Episode 9: Disillusioned
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 30
Release: 2017-10-20
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1386922110

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THE F**KING IDIOT . . . Vlad Wieckowski has seen better days. With only the clothes on his back, he's out of money, out of luck, and out of gas. CONFRONTS THE EVIL PINT-SIZED BASTARD . . . That little sh*t Henry Winkle is at it again, and this time he's got warehouses full of toxic gas at his disposal. Can anyone stop his evil plot to gas the world? AND GETS F**KED OVER BY A MYSTERIOUS DIPSH*T AGENT . . . By his letter he is known. W. W for Wacky. W for Wicked. W for WTF?! WILL THE INDELIBLE SH*THEAD GET HIS REVENGE? Or is mankind totally f**ked? Disillusioned is the ninth episode of an ongoing serial, created specifically for the Eight Hour Fiction Challenge. Each installment is approximately 3,000-4,000 words.


Marriage Stinks

Marriage Stinks
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 33
Release: 2013-11-09
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1624544932

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Mackelroy Puggsley thought he'd heard it all until an odd man named Bilby Bloob shows up in his lobby one morning. When Bilby demands a marriage license for his gassy wife, the old man puts his foot down. Sure, it's one thing to marry your high school sweetheart, but a fart? Who in the world marries a fart? "Well I'm not going anywhere until you give us a marriage license," Bilby insists. "Is that so?" Mackelroy cracks his knuckles. Marriage Stinks is a work of fart fiction, approximately 3,600 words in length.


Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby

Put Another Fart in the Jukebox, Baby
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 20
Release: 2018-06-19
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 138670198X

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When Brad Blemmings meets his blind date at Fifty Something, a retro shake and burger joint, he's not sure what to expect. But the goth beauty Maimah is quite a handful, and then there's the matter of the farting jukebox in the corner... Approximately 3,100 words.


Bottling Farts, Inc. - Episode 7: Detained

Bottling Farts, Inc. - Episode 7: Detained
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages:
Release: 2017-03-26
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1386570923

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THE F**KING IDIOT . . . Vlad Wieckowski has seen better days. With only the clothes on his back, he's out of money, out of luck, and out of gas. CONFRONTS THE EVIL PINT-SIZED BASTARD . . . That little sh*t Henry Winkle is at it again, and this time he's got warehouses full of toxic gas at his disposal. Can anyone stop his evil plot to gas the world? AND GETS F**KED OVER BY A MYSTERIOUS DIPSH*T AGENT . . . By his letter he is known. W. W for Wacky. W for Wicked. W for WTF?! WILL THE INDELIBLE SH*THEAD GET HIS REVENGE? Or is mankind totally f**ked? Detained is the seventh episode of an ongoing serial, created specifically for the Eight Hour Fiction Challenge. Each installment is approximately 3,000-4,000 words.


Four Stinky Stories Vol. 4

Four Stinky Stories Vol. 4
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 85
Release: 2020-02-21
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1393957056

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Can you believe it? Four more stinky stories have squeaked out, including these ghastly ghost turds: PUT ANOTHER FART IN THE JUKEBOX, BABY When Brad Blemmings meets his blind date at Fifty Something, a retro shake and burger joint, he's not sure what to expect. But the goth beauty Maimah is quite a handful, and then there's the matter of the farting jukebox in the corner... PEDO FLAMBÉ When an old man hobbles into the Palazzio and demands his favorite dish, the peculiar Pedo Flambé, the wait staff isn't sure what to make of it. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have such a thing on our menu." His baby-faced waiter Zach Spitz frowns. "You sure about that?" The old man slaps down a $100 bill. "Of course, sir. Right away, sir!" Zach's manager snatches up the bill and runs back to the kitchen. FART LOVER SUPREME Kimberly Grant is ruthless, and wants a taco. Thankfully, she's found a sucker to give it to her. Big time! DON'T COUNT YOUR CHICKEN FARTS BEFORE THEY HATCH When Miles Puggsley spends his last dollar on a carton of empty eggs, he realizes he's reached rock bottom and the end is near. But there's a basement to the misery he now endures, especially for the once proud DMV specialist turned exorcist. Can a band of wild chicken farts change his fortunes? No, probably not. BONUS: THE HAIRIEST BUTT The search for the hairiest butt on Venus leads to explosive results. Approximately 15,500 words.


The Gay Assteroid

The Gay Assteroid
Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
Total Pages: 23
Release: 2020-09-24
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1393329438

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Bill Bluster, founder and visionary behind the oddball Bluster Space Entertainment, LLC, sees an opportunity. When a pink asteroid is stopped short of striking earth's 15th colony Syphus, he puts in a bid and snaps it up. Now in his possession, he's not sure what to do with it. How does one go about promoting a pink asteroid that doesn't look the least bit menacing? By promising a gay, old time, of course! Approximately 1,000 words.