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Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent

Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent
Author: Grace Lebow
Publisher: Harper Collins
Total Pages: 297
Release: 2011-08-02
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 0062111965

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Do You Have An Aging Parent Who -- Blames you for everything that goes wrong? Cannot tolerate being alone, wants you all the time? Is obsessed with health problems, real, or imagined? Make unreasonable and/or irrational demands of you? Is hostile, negative and critical? Coping with these traits in parents is an endless high-stress battle for their children. Though there's no medical defination for "difficult" parents, you know when you have one. While it's rare for adults to change their ways late in life, you can stop the vicious merry-go-round of anger, blame, guilt and frustration. For the first time, here's a common-sense guide from professionals, with more than two decades in the field, on how to smooth communications with a challenging parent. Filled with practical tips for handling contentious behaviors and sample dialogues for some of the most troubling situations, this book addresses many hard issues, including: How to tell your parent he or she cannot live with you. How to avoid the cycle of nagging and recriminations How to prevent your parent's negativity from overwhelming you. How to deal with an impaired parent who refuses to stop driving. How to asses the risk factors in deciding whether a parent is still able to live alone.


Taking Care of Parents Who Didn't Take Care of You

Taking Care of Parents Who Didn't Take Care of You
Author: Eleanor Cade
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 124
Release: 2009-08-19
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1592858600

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A self-help guide for those who have to take care of their aging parents. Caring for aging parents is difficult-it's exhausting, expensive, time-consuming, and under appreciated. And that's under the best of circumstances, when the caregiver loves and respects his or her aging parent. What happens when adult children are asked to care for elderly parents who were abusive, neglectful, or absent? Here is a compassionate and practical guide to facing the psychological and emotional issues that arise when caring for aging parents. Eleanor Cade offers sound as well as personal accounts from individuals who have made the choice to care for difficult parents. The result is a powerful guide to moving beyond feelings of anger, regret, and grief in order to build healthy new family dynamics based on decency and mercy.Target audience For individuals who are caring for aging, dysfunctional parents, as well as counselors and therapists who work with familiesFeaturesan authoritative resource for baby boomers caring for aging parentsdefines differences between "normal" and "dysfunctional" familiespersonal stories validate the experiences and feelings of readers


Doing the Right Thing

Doing the Right Thing
Author: Roberta Satow, Ph.D.
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 292
Release: 2006-03-16
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 1101098821

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Now in paperback, one of the first books to help navigate the profound emotional challenges of caring for elderly parents in a strained parent-child relationship.


Children of the Aging Self-Absorbed

Children of the Aging Self-Absorbed
Author: Nina W Brown
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Total Pages: 177
Release: 2015-09-01
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1626252068

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Growing up with a parent who is self-absorbed is difficult, and they may become more difficult to deal with as they age. This essential book shows how to cope with your aging parent's narcissistic behavior, and provides tips to help protect yourself and your children from their self-absorbed, destructive actions. As your self-absorbed parent grows older and becomes more dependent on you, hurtful relationships may resurface and become further strained. In the tradition of Children of the Self-Absorbed, author Nina Brown offers the first book for adult children of aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parents. You will learn practical, powerful strategies for navigating the intense negative feelings that your parents can incite, as well as tips to protect your children from the criticism, blame, or hostility that may exist between you and their grandparent. In this book, you will gain greater awareness of how and why your parent's self-absorbed behaviors and attitudes get worse, and develop strategies to manage the negative feelings that can arise as a result. You'll also learn to reduce the shame and guilt that may be felt when you feel like you don't want to be a caretaker. Finally, you'll learn to set limits with your parent so you can stay sane during this difficult time. Having an aging parent can be stressful enough, but dealing with an aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parent is especially challenging. This essential guide will help you through.


Elder Rage

Elder Rage
Author: Jacqueline Marcell
Publisher:
Total Pages: 370
Release: 2001
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 9780967970318

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Elder Rage, or Take My Father... Please: How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents--is a riveting true story as well as an extensive self-help book, with solutions for effective management, medically and behaviorally, of challenging elders who resist care. Jacqueline Marcell's poignant and often-humorous story of caring for her challenging elderly father and sweet but frail mother, addresses issues like how to get an obstinate elder to: give up driving, accept a caregiver, see a different doctor, take medication, go to adult day care, move to a new residence, etc. Includes: Behavior Modification Guidelines, 25 Q&A's=How Do I Handle My Elderly Loved One Who...?, Long-Term Care Insurance, Ten Warning Signs of Alzheimer's, How is Alzheimer's Diagnosed, Three Stages of Alzheimer's, Startling Statistics, Other Diseases That Act Like Alzheimer's, Jacqueline's Top Ten Recommendations, Hope For The Future, The Search for the Cure, Valuable Resources, Recommended Reading. Internationally known dementia specialist, Rodman Shankle, MS MD, contributes the Addendum: A Physician's Guide to Treating Dementia. Over 50 endorsements include: Hugh Downs, Regis Philbin, Dr. Dean Edell, Duke University Center for Aging, Dr. Nancy Snyderman/ABC News, Leeza Gibbons, Senator John D. Rockefeller IV, Rudy Tanzi/Harvard Medical School, and The Johns Hopkins Memory Clinic. http://www.elderrage.com


When Parents Have Problems

When Parents Have Problems
Author: Susan B. Miller
Publisher: Charles C Thomas Publisher
Total Pages: 130
Release: 2019-02-21
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 0398092672

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Numerous books have been written for adults who grew up coping with troubled and difficult parents. Often the adults who read these books say, I wish someone had told me that when I was a kid; it might have helped me so much. Unfortunately, not much has been written for the kids who are coping in the present with difficult or troubled parents. This book is written out of the belief that intelligent kids can use sound ideas to improve their lives, either on their own or with the help of healthy adults. It will offer help in sorting out whether a difficult situation may be a result of a parent’s problems. In this new third edition, changes have been made throughout in order to update and refine the author’s ideas. Two new chapters have been added, as well. The first new chapter addresses parents who tell lies. Dishonest parents are motivated in several different ways, but all dishonest parents pose special problems for their children. The second chapter discusses the idea that all parents have problems some of the time. In this chapter, the author helps young people look at the challenges posed by recognizing that all parents, even excellent ones, have shortcomings, and it differentiates between the ordinary shortcomings that all parents have and more serious problems in parenting. This book is an excellent resource for therapists, school counselors, group leaders, and others who work with children and teenagers and who want reading materials to recommend to them.


Role Reversal

Role Reversal
Author: Iris Waichler, MSW, LCSW
Publisher: She Writes Press
Total Pages: 277
Release: 2016-08-16
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 163152092X

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Designed to help caregivers understand how to cope with and overcome the overwhelming challenges that arise while caregiving for a loved one—especially an aging parent—Role Reversal is a comprehensive guide to navigating the enormous daily challenges faced by caregivers. In these pages, Waichler blends her personal experience caring for her beloved father with her forty years of expertise as a patient advocate and clinical social worker. The result is a book offering invaluable information on topics ranging from estate planning to grief and anger to building a support network and finding the right level of care for your elderly parent.


Loving Hard-To-Love Parents

Loving Hard-To-Love Parents
Author: Paul Chafetz
Publisher:
Total Pages: 101
Release: 2017-07-05
Genre: Adult children of aging parents
ISBN: 9780999016138

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Everyone knows some truly fine people in their thirties to sixties whose older parents treat them really badly, with hurtful sarcasm, irrational demands, constant criticism, and undeserved anger. These frustrated, unappreciated adult sons and daughters simply want to be good to their parents. Perhaps you are one of these people yourself. In this unique handbook, Dr. Chafetz provides adult children of difficult older parents (CODOPs) the tools they need to protect themselves emotionally, effectively love their hard-to-love parents, and create a healthy legacy for their own children. Here are thirty powerful, time-tested tools for CODOPs: Ten concepts to empower their minds Ten insights to comfort their hearts Ten behavioral skills to guide their actions


When the Time Comes

When the Time Comes
Author: Paula Span
Publisher: Grand Central Life & Style
Total Pages: 220
Release: 2009-06-10
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 0446552224

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What will you do when you get the call that a loved one has had a heart attack or a stroke? Or when you realize that a family member is too frail to live alone, but too healthy for a nursing home? Journalist Paula Span shares the resonant narratives of several families who faced these questions. Each family contemplates the alternatives in elder care (from assisted living to multigenerational living to home care, nursing care, and at the end, hospice care) and chooses the right path for its needs. Span writes about the families' emotional challenges, their practical discoveries, and the good news that some of them find a situation that has worked for them and their loved ones. And many find joy in the duty of caring for an older loved one. There are 45 million Americans caring for family members currently, and as the 77 million boomers continue to age, this number will only go up. Paula Span's stories are revealing and informative. They give a sense of all the emotional and practical factors that go into the major decisions about caregiving, so that readers will be better able to figure out what to do when the time comes for them and their loved ones.


Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
Author: Lindsay C. Gibson
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Total Pages: 282
Release: 2015-06-01
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 162625172X

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Now a New York Times bestseller! If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life. Discover the four types of difficult parents: The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory