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A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length

A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length
Author: Roger Ebert
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Total Pages: 286
Release: 2012-03-06
Genre: Performing Arts
ISBN: 1449417574
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More of the Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic’s most scathing reviews. A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length collects more than 200 of his reviews from 2006 to 2012 in which he gave movies two stars or fewer. Known for his fair-minded and well-written film reviews, Roger is at his razor-sharp humorous best when skewering bad movies. Consider this opener for the one-star Your Highness: “Your Highness is a juvenile excrescence that feels like the work of 11-year-old boys in love with dungeons, dragons, warrior women, pot, boobs, and four-letter words. That this is the work of David Gordon Green beggars the imagination. One of its heroes wears the penis of a minotaur on a string around his neck. I hate it when that happens.” And finally, the inspiration for the title of this book, the one-star Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a doglike robot humping the leg of the heroine. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.” Roger Ebert’s I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie and Your Movie Sucks, which gathered some of his most scathing reviews, were bestsellers. This collection continues the tradition, reviewing not only movies that were at the bottom of the barrel, but also movies that he found underneath the barrel. Movie buffs and humor lovers alike will relish this treasury of movies so bad that you may just want to see them for a good laugh!

I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie

I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie
Author: Roger Ebert
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Total Pages: 384
Release: 2013-07-30
Genre: Performing Arts
ISBN: 0740792482
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The Pulitzer Prize–winning film critics offers up more reviews of horrible films. Roger Ebert awards at least two out of four stars to most of the more than 150 movies he reviews each year. But when the noted film critic does pan a movie, the result is a humorous, scathing critique far more entertaining than the movie itself. I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie is a collection of more than 200 of Ebert’s most biting and entertaining reviews of films receiving a mere star or less from the only film critic to win the Pulitzer Prize. Ebert has no patience for these atrocious movies and minces no words in skewering the offenders. Witness: Armageddon * (1998)—The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they’re charging to get in, it’s worth more to get out. The Beverly Hillbillies * (1993)—Imagine the dumbest half-hour sitcom you’ve ever seen, spin it out to ninety-three minutes by making it even more thin and shallow, and you have this movie. It’s appalling. North no stars (1994)—I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it. Police Academy no stars (1984)—It’s so bad, maybe you should pool your money and draw straws and send one of the guys off to rent it so that in the future, whenever you think you’re sitting through a bad comedy, he could shake his head, chuckle tolerantly, and explain that you don't know what bad is. Dear God * (1996)—Dear God is the kind of movie where you walk out repeating the title, but not with a smile. The movies reviewed within I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie are motion pictures you’ll want to distance yourself from, but Roger Ebert’s creative and comical musings on those films make for a book no movie fan should miss.

Your Movie Sucks

Your Movie Sucks
Author: Roger Ebert
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Total Pages: 364
Release: 2007-03-01
Genre: Performing Arts
ISBN: 0740792156
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A collection of some of the Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic’s most scathing reviews, from Alex & Emma to the remake of Yours, Mine, and Ours. From Roger’s review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (0 stars): “The movie created a spot of controversy in February 2005. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture nominees and wrote that they were 'ignored, unloved, and turned down flat by most of the same studios that . . . bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.' Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: “Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind . . . . Maybe you didn’t win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who’s Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers . . . .” Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor but lost to Jar-Jar Binks. But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo while passing on the opportunity to participate in Million Dollar Baby, Ray, The Aviator, Sideways, and Finding Neverland. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.” Roger Ebert’s I Hated Hated Hated This Movie, which gathered some of his most scathing reviews, was a bestseller. This collection continues the tradition, reviewing not only movies that were at the bottom of the barrel, but also movies that he found underneath the barrel.

Roger Ebert's Book of Film

Roger Ebert's Book of Film
Author: Roger Ebert
Publisher: W W Norton & Company Incorporated
Total Pages: 793
Release: 1997
Genre: Performing Arts
ISBN: 9780393040005
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The Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic assembles and introduces more than one hundred essays and articles about film, with entries by and about movie stars, famous directors, industry executives, and critics. Tour.

Roger Ebert's Movie Yearbook 2004

Roger Ebert's Movie Yearbook 2004
Author: Roger Ebert
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Total Pages: 988
Release: 2003
Genre: Performing Arts
ISBN: 9780740738340
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Featuring every review Ebert wrote from January 2001 to mid-June 2003, this treasury also includes his essays, interviews, film festival reports, and In Memoriams, along with his famous star ratings.

Unbearable Lightness

Unbearable Lightness
Author: Portia de Rossi
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 320
Release: 2011-03-03
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 1849835276
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"I didn't decide to become anorexic. It snuck up on me disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude. Although there was a certain glamour to anorexics, I didn't want to be one. I just wanted to excel in dieting. And weighing in at 80 pounds on 300 calories a day, I was the best little dieter there ever was." In scalding prose, Portia de Rossi reveals the pain and illness that haunted her for decades. She alternately starved herself and binged, putting her life in danger and lying to herself and everyone around her about the depth of her illness. From her lowest point, Portia began the painful climb back to health and happiness, ultimately falling head over heels in love with Ellen DeGeneres. In this remarkable and landmark book, she tells a story that inspires hope and nourishes the spirit.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Author: Milan Kundera
Publisher: HarperCollins
Total Pages: 311
Release: 2023-03-28
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0063290642
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“Far more than a conventional novel. It is a meditation on life, on the erotic, on the nature of men and women and love . . . full of telling details, truths large and small, to which just about every reader will respond.” — People In The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera tells the story of two couples, a young woman in love with a man torn between his love for her and his incorrigible womanizing, and one of his mistresses and her humbly faithful lover. In a world in which lives are shaped by irrevocable choices and by fortuitous events, a world in which everything occurs but once, existence seems to lose its substance, its weight. Hence, we feel "the unbearable lightness of being" not only as the consequence of our pristine actions but also in the public sphere, and the two inevitably intertwine. This magnificent novel is a story of passion and politics, infidelity and ideas, and encompasses the extremes of comedy and tragedy, illuminating all aspects of human existence.

The Sci-Fi Movie Guide

The Sci-Fi Movie Guide
Author: Chris Barsanti
Publisher: Visible Ink Press
Total Pages: 529
Release: 2014-09-22
Genre: Performing Arts
ISBN: 1578595339
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From the trashy to the epic, from the classics to today's blockbusters, this cinefile’s guidebook reviews nearly 1,000 of the biggest, baddest, and brightest from every age and genre of cinematic science fiction! Once upon a time, science fiction was only in the future. It was the stuff of drive-ins and cheap double-bills. Then, with the ever-increasing rush of new, society-altering technologies, science fiction pushed its way to the present, and it busted out of the genre ghetto of science fiction and barged its way into the mainstream. What used to be mere fantasy (trips to the moon? Wristwatch radios? Supercomputers capable of learning?) are now everyday reality. Whether nostalgic for the future or fast-forwarding to the present, The Sci-Fi Movie Guide: The Universe of Film from Alien to Zardoz covers the broad and widening range of science-fiction movies. You’ll find more than just Star Wars, Star Trek, and Transformers, with reviews on many overlooked and under-appreciated gems and genres, such as ... Monsters! Pacific Rim, Godzilla, The Thing, Creature from the Black Lagoon Superheroes: Thor, Iron Man, X-Men, The Amazing Spider-man, Superman Dystopias: THX 1138, 1984, The Hunger Games Avant-garde masterpieces: Solaris, 2001, Brazil, The Man Who Fell to Earth Time travel: 12 Monkeys, The Time Machine, Time Bandits, Back to the Future Post-apocalyptic action: The Road Warrior, I Am Legend, Terminator Salvation Comedy: Dark Star, Mars Attacks!, Dr. Strangelove, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension, Mystery Science Theater 3000 Aliens! The Day the Earth Stood Still, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Contact, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Signs Mad scientists! Frankenstein, The Invisible Man, The Abominable Dr. Phibes Shoot-em-ups: Aliens, Universal Soldier, Starship Troopers What the...?: Battlefield Earth, Prayer of the Rollerboys, Repo: The Genetic Opera, Tank Girl, The 10th Victim Animation: WALL-E, Akira, Ghost in the Shell Small budgets, big ideas: Donnie Darko, Primer, Sound of My Voice, Computer Chess Neglected greats: Things to Come, Children of Men Epics: Metropolis, Blade Runner, Cloud Atlas and many, many more categories and movies!! In addition to the nearly one thousand science fiction film reviews, this guide includes fascinating and fun Top-10 lists and sidebars that are designed to lead fans to similar titles they might not have known about. The Sci-Fi Movie Guide: The Universe of Film from Alien to Zardoz will help ensure that you will never again have to worry about what to watch next. Useful both as a handy resource or a fun romp through the film world of science fiction. It also includes a helpful bibliography and an extensive index, adding to its usefulness.

Two Weeks in the Midday Sun

Two Weeks in the Midday Sun
Author: Roger Ebert
Publisher: University of Chicago Press
Total Pages: 202
Release: 2016-04-06
Genre: Biography & Autobiography
ISBN: 022631443X
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Praise for Two Weeks in the Midday Sun -- About the Author -- Title Page -- Foreword by Martin Scorsese -- Dedication -- Two Weeks in the Midday Sun: A Cannes Notebook -- Postscript, 1997: Scorsese Goes to Dinner

The Horror Show Guide

The Horror Show Guide
Author: Mike Mayo
Publisher: Visible Ink Press
Total Pages: 496
Release: 2013-04-01
Genre: Performing Arts
ISBN: 1578594596
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From atomic bombs to zealous zombies, this cinefile’s guidebook reviews 1,000 of the wickedest, weirdest, and wackiest scary movies from every age of horror. With reviews on many overlooked, underappreciated gems such as Alice Sweet Alice, Daughters of Darkness, and Zombie, as well as the numerous Stephen King adaptations and modern updates such as Night of the Living Dead 3D and The Wolfman, new devotees as well as the discriminating darkcinema enthusiast will love this big, beautiful, endall, beall guide to an always popular film genre. Established directors, including Wes Craven, John Carpenter, Tim Burton, David Cronenberg, and Guillermo del Toro are given their due, as are the new generation, represented by Larry Fessenden, James Wan, Alexandre Aja, and others. In addition to the hundreds of horror film reviews, this guide includes fascinating and fun top10 lists and sidebars that are designed to lead fans to similar titles they might not have known about.