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Why Marriage Counseling Fails

Why Marriage Counseling Fails
Author: David Hawkins
Publisher: Whitaker House
Total Pages: 225
Release: 2022-05-24
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1641238496

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Like life itself, marriage has moments of joy…and sorrow. As difficult as marriage can be, many who have said “I do” try to stick it out when problems arise because the alternative—being alone—is not very appealing. If the couple truly wants to save their marriage, they usually turn to counseling. Unfortunately, most marriage counseling ends with the couple dropping out and then, more often than not, ending their relationship. In some cases, the problem is not the couple but their choice of counselor. One who is poorly trained, disinterested, or obviously biased can destroy a marriage. Why Marriage Counseling Fails explores different scenarios that cause problems for couples as well as the different types of counselors who can help or harm a marriage. Dr. David B. Hawkins has more than forty-five years of experience as a marriage counselor and has helped thousands of couples save their marriages. “Sadly, when it comes to reaching out for help for marriage counseling, few have a sense of trust and confidence in their counselor,” he says. “Stories abound about how they came out of a counseling session worse than when they went in.” Dr. Hawkins defines the “five I’s” of a qualified marriage counselor as one who: Offers wise instruction Takes an active interest in the couple Offers insight into why problems recur Is willing to work intensively Works in-depth to help the couple find long-term solutions Why Marriage Counseling Fails offers insights into marital issues, the brokenness of the counseling system, how to find good help, and how to insist upon effective help when turning to a counselor.


This Is How Your Marriage Ends

This Is How Your Marriage Ends
Author: Matthew Fray
Publisher: HarperCollins
Total Pages: 304
Release: 2022-03-22
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 0063072270

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A thoughtful, down-to-earth, contemporary guide to help partners identify and address relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives. Good people can be bad at relationships. One night during his divorce, after one too many vodkas and a call with a phone-in-therapist who told him to “journal his feelings,” Matthew Fray started a blog. He needed to figure out how his ex-wife went from the eighteen-year-old college freshman who adored him to the angry woman who thought he was an asshole and left him. As he pieced together the story of his marriage and its end, Matthew began to realize a hard truth: even though he was a decent guy, he was a bad husband. As he shared raw, uncomfortable, and darkly humorous first-person stories about the lessons he’d learned from his failed marriage, a peculiar thing happened. Matthew started to gain a following. In January 2016 a post he wrote—“She Divorced Me Because I left the Dishes by the Sink”—went viral and was read over four million times. Filtered through the lens of his own surprising, life-changing experience and his years counseling couples, This Is How Your Marriage Ends exposes the root problem of so many relationships that go wrong. We simply haven’t been taught any of the necessary skills, Matthew explains. In fact, it is sometimes the assumption that we are acting on good intentions that causes us to alienate our partners and foment mistrust. With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and the practical insights of The 5 Love Languages, This is How Your Marriage Ends helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives, and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. It is must-read for every partner no matter what stage–beginning, middle, or even end—of your relationship.


The New I Do

The New I Do
Author: Susan Pease Gadoua
Publisher: Seal Press
Total Pages: 241
Release: 2014-09-23
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 158005546X

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If half of all cars bought in America each year broke down, there would be a national uproar. But when people suggest that maybe every single marriage doesn't look like the next and isn't meant to last until death, there's nothing but a rash of proposed laws trying to force it to do just that. In The New I Do, therapist Susan Pease Gadoua and journalist Vicki Larson take a groundbreaking look at the modern shape of marriage to help readers open their minds to marrying more consciously and creatively. Offering actual models of less-traditional marriages, including everything from a parenting marriage (intended for the sake of raising and nurturing children) to a comfort or safety marriage (where people marry for financial security or companionship), the book covers unique options for couples interested in forging their own paths. With advice to help listeners decide what works for them, The New I Doacts as a guide to thinking outside the marital box and the framework for a new debate on marriage in the 21st century.


Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy

Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy
Author: Gina Pera
Publisher: Routledge
Total Pages: 232
Release: 2016-01-08
Genre: Psychology
ISBN: 1135087865

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Since ADHD became a well-known condition, decades ago, much of the research and clinical discourse has focused on youth. In recent years, attention has expanded to the realm of adult ADHD and the havoc it can wreak on many aspects of adult life, including driving safety, financial management, education and employment, and interpersonal difficulties. Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy breaks new ground in explaining and suggesting approaches for treating the range of challenges that ADHD can create within a most important and delicate relationship: the intimate couple. With the help of contributors who are experts in their specialties, Pera and Robin provide the clinician with a step-by-step, nuts-and-bolts approach to help couples enhance their relationship and improve domestic cooperation. This comprehensive guide includes psychoeducation, medication guidelines, cognitive interventions, co-parenting techniques, habit change and communication strategies, and ADHD-specific clinical suggestions around sexuality, money, and cyber-addictions. More than twenty detailed case studies provide real-life examples of ways to implement the interventions.


Divorce Busting

Divorce Busting
Author: Michele Weiner Davis
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 256
Release: 1993-02
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 0671797255

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A step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again.


The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
Author: Randi Kreger
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Total Pages: 331
Release: 2009-06-03
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 1592857833

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Gentle counsel and realistic advice for families contending with one of today's most misunderstood forms of mental illness. For family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies--common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder--leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless. In Stop Walking on Eggshells, Randi Kreger's pioneering first book which sold more than 340,000 copies, she and co-author Paul T. Mason outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people with BPD relate to the world. Now, with The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, Kreger takes readers to the next level by offering them five straightforward tools to organize their thinking, learn specific skills, and focus on what they need to do to get off the emotional rollercoaster: (1) Take care of yourself; (2) Uncover what keeps you feeling stuck; (3) Communicate to be heard; (4) Set limits with love; and (5) Reinforce the right behaviors. Together the steps provide a clear-cut system designed to help friends and family reduce stress, improve their relationship with their borderline loved one, improve their problem-solving skills and minimize conflict, and feel more self-assured about setting limits.


ACT on Life Not on Anger

ACT on Life Not on Anger
Author: Georg H. Eifert
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Total Pages: 198
Release: 2006-03-03
Genre: Self-Help
ISBN: 160882831X

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Drop the Rope in Your Tug-of-War with Anger If you've tried to control problem anger before with little success, this book offers you a fundamentally new approach and new hope. Instead of struggling even harder to manage or eliminate your anger, you can stop anger feelings from determining who you are and how you live your life. Based on a revolutionary psychological approach called acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), the techniques in ACT on Life Not on Anger can help you let go of anger and start living your life to the fullest. Your path begins as you learn to accept your angry feelings as they occur, without judging or trying to manage them. Then, using techniques based in mindfulness practice, you'll discover how to observe your feelings of anger without acting on them. Value-identification exercises help you figure out what truly matters to you so that you can commit to short- and long-term goals that turn your values into reality. In the process, anger will lose power over your life-and, amazingly, you'll gain control over your life by simply letting go of your angry feelings.


The 4 Seasons of Marriage

The 4 Seasons of Marriage
Author: Gary Chapman
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Total Pages: 239
Release: 2012
Genre: Religion
ISBN: 1414376340

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Compares the transitional cycles of marriage to those of nature, describes the attitudes and emotions of each season, and offers seven strategies that enable couples to enhance and improve their marital relationship.


Eight Dates

Eight Dates
Author: John Gottman
Publisher: Workman Publishing
Total Pages: 241
Release: 2019-02-05
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1523504463

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Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved.


The Empowered Wife, Updated and Expanded Edition

The Empowered Wife, Updated and Expanded Edition
Author: Laura Doyle
Publisher: BenBella Books, Inc.
Total Pages: 280
Release: 2017-03-28
Genre: Family & Relationships
ISBN: 1944648607

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Can a wife single-handedly bring a boring or broken marriage back to life? This improved and expanded edition of Laura Doyle's acclaimed First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors features real-life success stories from empowered wives who have done just that—and provides a step-by-step guide to revitalizing your own marriage. Laura Doyle's marriage was in trouble, and couples counseling wasn't helping. On the brink of divorce, she decided to talk to women who'd been happily married for over a decade, and their advice stunned her. From it, she distilled Six Intimacy Skills—woman-centric practices that ended her overwhelm and resentment, restoring the playfulness and passion in her marriage. Now an internationally-recognized relationship coach, Doyle has shared her secrets with women around the globe, saving thousands of marriages with her fresh, revolutionary approach. Practical and counter-intuitive, the Six Intimacy Skills are about focusing on your own desires and transforming your own life—not bending over backwards to transform your husband. Incorporating these skills will empower you to: Attract his attention like a magnet when you relax more and do less Receive affection not because you told him to make more of an effort, but because he naturally seeks you out Feel more like yourself—and like yourself more If you've been trying to "fix" your relationship and it's not working, maybe the problem was never you, or your husband, or even the two of you as a couple. Maybe the problem is that nobody ever taught you the skills you need to foster respect, tenderness, and consideration. With humor and heart, The Empowered Wife shows you how to improve your relationship in ways you hadn't thought possible. You'll join a worldwide community of over 150,000 empowered wives who finally have the marriages they dreamed of when they said "I do."