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Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire
Author: Adam Rex
Publisher: Harper Collins
Total Pages: 336
Release: 2011-07-26
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0061920924
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Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it’s just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it’s not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . . Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.

Fat Vampire 4

Fat Vampire 4
Author: Johnny B. Truant
Publisher:
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2013-03-10
Genre:
ISBN: 9781629551340
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The SMASH HIT SERIES is now a new TV series on SYFY: Reginald The Vampire!!A New Dark Leader Has Emerged.Following Maurice's near-assassination and the overthrow of the American Vampire Council, Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki have fled to Luxembourg, where they've taken refuge under the protection of Karl Stromm and the EU Council.Things in America have continued towards chaos with no end in sight - until a coup shakes the world and a new American leader arrives with promises to restore order and derail the imminent human-vampire war.But things are not as they seem. A dangerous, genocidal faction has arisen to upset the fragile balance. The New World Order in America is not what it seems. And all the while the world's vampires face a war on two fronts: deadly, prepared human forces on one side, and their immortal creators on the other.This fresh twist on the tired old undead myth is the fourth in the Fat Vampire series by Johnny B. Truant - author of many bestselling series, including Invasion, The Beam, Unicorn Western, The Dream Engine, Robot Proletariat, and more.

Fat White Vampire Blues

Fat White Vampire Blues
Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Total Pages: 354
Release: 2003-07-01
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0345464443
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He’s undead, overweight, and can’t get a date Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night—whatever you call him—Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can’t see his reflection in a mirror. When he turns into a bat, he can’t get his big ol’ butt off the ground. What’s worse, after more than a century of being undead, he’s watched his neighborhood truly go to hell—and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. See, Jules had always been an equal opportunity kind of vampire. And while he would admit that the blood of a black woman is sweeter than the blood of a white man, Jules never drank more than his fair share of either. Enter Malice X . Young, cocky, and black, Malice warns Jules that his days of feasting on sisters and brothers are over. He tells Jules he’d better confine himself to white victims—or else face the consequences. And then, just to prove he isn’t kidding, Malice burns Jules’s house to the ground. With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese, stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast—Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him . . . without getting a stake through the heart. It’s enough to give a man the blues.

Fat Vampire 4: Harder Better Fatter Stronger

Fat Vampire 4: Harder Better Fatter Stronger
Author: Johnny B. Truant
Publisher: Johnny B. Truant
Total Pages: 164
Release: 2024-05-01
Genre: Fiction
ISBN:
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A New Dark Leader Has Emerged... Following Maurice's near-assassination and the overthrow of the American Vampire Council, Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki have fled to Luxembourg, where they've taken refuge under the protection of Karl Stromm and the EU Council. Things in America have continued towards chaos with no end in sight — until a coup shakes the world and a new American leader arrives with promises to restore order and derail the imminent human-vampire war. But things are not as they seem. A dangerous, genocidal faction has arisen to upset the fragile balance. The New World Order in America is not what it seems. And all the while the world's vampires face a war on two fronts: deadly, prepared human forces on one side, and their immortal creators on the other.

Araminta Spookie 4: Vampire Brat

Araminta Spookie 4: Vampire Brat
Author: Angie Sage
Publisher: Harper Collins
Total Pages: 231
Release: 2009-10-06
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 0061975524
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Uncle Drac’s creepy vampire nephew comes to visit and Araminta wants him gone—another funny, weird adventure in the Araminta Spookie series from Angie Sage, author of the New York Times bestselling Septimus Heap series. This fun and spooky chapter book series is perfect for growing readers in first or second grade. What's lurking in the basement? Araminta thinks something horrible is hiding in the deep, hidden passages of Spookie House—could it be a werewolf? Then Max, Uncle Drac's creepy nephew, arrives and Araminta is sure he's up to no good. Araminta comes up with a plan to figure out what Max is up to—and also to capture the werewolf. But will it work?

The Fat Vampire Big Fat Box Set

The Fat Vampire Big Fat Box Set
Author: Johnny B. Truant
Publisher:
Total Pages:
Release: 2013
Genre:
ISBN:
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This collection contains ALL SIX BOOKS in the Fat Vampire series: * Fat Vampire * Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken * Fat Vampire 3: All You Can Eat * Fat Vampire 4: Harder Better Fatter Stronger * Fat Vampire 5: Fatpocalypse * Fat Vampire 6: Survival of the Fattest DESCRIPTION FOR FAT VAMPIRE (BOOK 1 IN THIS 6-BOOK COLLECTION): When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a two thousand-year-old vampire. And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity. As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire--too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead--he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have... and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes. PRAISE FOR FAT VAMPIRE: "Truly original and a very fun, witty take on the "done to death" vampire story." "If Eric Northman [from True Blood] ever gets staked, Reginald Baskin will be my new favorite vampire." "Got the book just before bed... Next thing I knew it was the wee hours of the night... It was impossible to put down." Fat Vampire is a fresh twist on the tired old undead myth by Johnny B. Truant--author of many bestselling series including Invasion, The Beam, Unicorn Western, The Dream Engine, Robot Proletariat, and more. You can find more about Johnny (including his podcasts and nonfiction work) at SterlingAndStone.net.

My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet

My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet
Author: Mo O'Hara
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
Total Pages: 209
Release: 2018-03-06
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 1250128129
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My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet, the epic spin-off of Mo O'Hara's New York Times bestselling My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish series features an aspiring evil scientist, paranormal pets, and plenty of hilarious summer camp shenanigans. Welcome to Camp Mwhaaa-haa-ha-a-watha! This summer is going to be epic. Epically evil, that is. ‘Cause I’m going to Evil Scientist Summer Camp! No annoying little brothers. No annoying zombie goldfish. Just me, my best friend Sanj, our notebook of evil plans, and my truly evil (and totally forbidden) vampire kitten Fang. We’ve got it all planned out. Okay, so maybe I didn’t expect for the totally not-evil Geeky Girl to show up, or for Sanj to find a new partner to work with, but there’s no way I’m going to let them ruin my summer. Evil Emperor of the Camp, here I come! Signed, The Great and Powerful Mark

Any Fin Is Possible: My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish

Any Fin Is Possible: My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish
Author: Mo O'Hara
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
Total Pages: 208
Release: 2016-03-01
Genre: Juvenile Fiction
ISBN: 125006354X
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Get ready for some more fishy mayhem in this fourth hilarious illustrated chapter book in Mo O'Hara's New York Times bestselling series. When Tom and his best friend Pradeep rescued Frankie the goldfish from Tom's older brother's evil science experiment by zapping him back to life with a battery, they never expected Tom's pet to become a BIG FAT ZOMBIE GOLDFISH with incredible hypnotic powers...but it's helpful when they are thwarting his big brother's evil plans. Tom and Pradeep are about to find out the truth behind the ancient Egyption Curse of the Cat King, when their evil big brothers crash their overnight stay at the history museum. Dodging booby traps, avoiding evil, possibly mummified kittens...it's all in a night's work for a zombie goldfish! Then, there's something fishy going on at sports day. All the athletic kids seem to be losing their sporting abilities, while Tom's evil big brother Mark has suddenly become amazing at every single sport. Can Frankie help Pradeep and Tom to foil Mark's evil plans? Or will Mark and his pet vampire kitten, Fang, take home the gold?

Vampires Never Get Old

Vampires Never Get Old
Author: Zoraida Córdova
Publisher: Imprint
Total Pages: 282
Release: 2020-09-22
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 1250230004
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Eleven fresh vampire stories from young adult fiction’s leading voices fill this bestselling anthology—including V.E. Schwab's First Kill, now a major Netflix adaptation! "Boundary-pushing... Stories that stake a new claim on old tropes." —Publishers Weekly, starred review In this delicious new collection, you’ll find stories about lurking vampires of social media, rebellious vampires hungry for more than just blood, eager vampires coming out—and going out for their first kill—and other bold, breathtaking, dangerous, dreamy, eerie, iconic, powerful creatures of the night. Welcome to the evolution of the vampire—and a revolution on the page. Vampires Never Get Old includes stories by authors both bestselling and acclaimed, including Samira Ahmed, Dhonielle Clayton, Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, Tessa Gratton, Heidi Heilig, Julie Murphy, Mark Oshiro, Rebecca Roanhorse, Laura Ruby, Victoria “V. E.” Schwab, and Kayla Whaley. An Imprint Book "Vampire fans, sink your teeth into this satisfying collection." —Kirkus Reviews

Fat Vampire Value Meal (Books 1-4 in the Series)

Fat Vampire Value Meal (Books 1-4 in the Series)
Author:
Publisher:
Total Pages:
Release: 2013
Genre:
ISBN: 9781301037131
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This collection, for people who read and enjoyed the original "Fat Vampire," contains the entirety of books 1-4 in the series:* Fat Vampire* Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken* Fat Vampire 3: All You Can Eat* Fat Vampire 4: Harder Better Fatter Stronger+++++PRAISE FOR FAT VAMPIRE:"Johnny is a phenomenal writer. This book is nothing short of hilarious. I started to read it at work, but had to stop almost immediately because I could not stop myself from laughing out loud.""Humor drips from every orifice of this story which couples well with the hints of gore and danger ever present in vampire literature. I found it very entertaining and I wish I had drawn it out a bit more instead of cashing out in one sitting. Five stars, no regrets.""At Last! An Original Vampire Story! I've read a fair few Vampire tales in recent years, and most are twilight clones, interview clones, or frankly bad fan fiction. This one is the first I've read for a long time that is genuinely original, well written, and also 'keeps to the rules'."+++++DESCRIPTION FOR FAT VAMPIRE (BOOK 1):When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a two thousand-year-old vampire.And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have... and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race.Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.+++++ABOUT THE AUTHORJohnny B. Truant is the author of "Unicorn Western" and "The Bialy Pimps" and is one of the co-hosts the popular "Better Off Undead" podcast with "Yesterday's Gone" authors Sean Platt and David Wright. Both Better Off Undead and the trio's Self Publishing Podcast are available on iTunes.