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100 Thirsty Vampires Halloween Jokes

100 Thirsty Vampires Halloween Jokes
Author: Kenny Ritte
Publisher:
Total Pages: 76
Release: 2019-10-22
Genre:
ISBN: 9781701604902

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DESCRIPTIONIt is not just one Vampire but a hundred thirsty Vampires! What happens when one hundred vampires invade your town or city? Will it be a joking matter? Beware all you witches, pumpkins, ghosts and goblins! This is the season of the Vampire!This book is full of hilarious jokes to make kids of all ages laugh and laugh for a long time after they have dropped it. It is a book that can be enjoyed by the whole family. BONUS JOKES Q: What is another name for vampire bats? A: Men in black. Q: Why was the teenage witch so popular in high school? A: All the other kids felt she was so fly. Q: What kind of game do corpses play? A: Hide and smell. THIS BOOK WILL: teach your kids how to read fluently; help your kids relax and be stress-free; reduce the time the kids spend in front of the television screen; help them crack jokes easily; boost their self-confidence in public speaking; and promote their emotional intelligence. BUY this book. Your kids will ENTERTAIN you.


The Very Thirsty Vampire

The Very Thirsty Vampire
Author: Michael Teitelbaum
Publisher: Skyhorse
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2020-10-27
Genre: Humor
ISBN: 9781510761551

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For fans of The Vampire Diaries, Dracula, or any original bloodsucker comes a parody of the children's classic The Very Hungry Caterpillar In this hilarious parody of a children’s classic, The Very Thirsty Vampire presents a charming little fellow with a very specific kind of thirst. As he drinks his way through a variety of bartenders, baristas, wine stewards, soda jerks, and other venders of fine beverages who try to quench his thirst, he pines for something of more substance, finally finding it in a blood bank, where an unsuspecting technician finds out she's just his type! With vivid, playful art and amusing text, The Very Thirsty Vampire will appeal to picture-book lovers of all ages. Adults will catch its slightly demented humor. Older kids who grew up on classic board books will love the fun of the parody. And all who appreciate the undead will adore this dashing bloodthirsty gentleman with a wicked sense of humor.


Midnight Sun

Midnight Sun
Author: Stephenie Meyer
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Total Pages: 727
Release: 2020-08-04
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 0316592250

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#1 bestselling author Stephenie Meyer makes a triumphant return to the world of Twilight with this highly anticipated companion: the iconic love story of Bella and Edward told from the vampire's point of view. When Edward Cullen and Bella Swan met in Twilight, an iconic love story was born. But until now, fans have heard only Bella's side of the story. At last, readers can experience Edward's version in the long-awaited companion novel, Midnight Sun. This unforgettable tale as told through Edward's eyes takes on a new and decidedly dark twist. Meeting Bella is both the most unnerving and intriguing event he has experienced in all his years as a vampire. As we learn more fascinating details about Edward's past and the complexity of his inner thoughts, we understand why this is the defining struggle of his life. How can he justify following his heart if it means leading Bella into danger? In Midnight Sun, Stephenie Meyer transports us back to a world that has captivated millions of readers and brings us an epic novel about the profound pleasures and devastating consequences of immortal love. An instant #1 New York Times BestsellerAn instant #1 USA Today BestsellerAn instant #1 Wall Street Journal BestsellerAn instant #1 IndieBound BestsellerApple Audiobook August Must-Listens Pick "People do not want to just read Meyer's books; they want to climb inside them and live there." -- Time "A literary phenomenon." -- New York Times


Vampires in the Lemon Grove

Vampires in the Lemon Grove
Author: Karen Russell
Publisher: Knopf
Total Pages: 258
Release: 2013
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0307957233

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A collection of stories features a pair of centuries-old vampires whose relationship is tested by a sudden fear of flying, a dejected teen who communicates with the universe, and a massage therapist who heals a tattooed veteran by manipulating the imageson his body.


When Life Gives You Vampires

When Life Gives You Vampires
Author: Gloria Duke
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
Total Pages: 278
Release: 2022-10-04
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1728257468

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Bridget Jones for the vampire obsessed: fans of Olivia Dade, Tessa Bailey, and Julie Murphy will love to sink their teeth into this charming romantic comedy. Single (plus size) vampire, desperately in search of a life. Twenty-five year old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. But when a little light necking has more serious consequences than she ever imagined, Lily's determined to get to the bottom of it, or die (again) trying. Tristan hadn't meant to turn Lily—it's against vampire law—but now that she's here, they need to team up to save both their hides. They strike an uneasy truce, fending off other vampires, Lily's work-rival-turned-slayer, and her mother's tone-deaf romance and fitness advice...all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change. Falling for her maddeningly gorgeous sire? Easy. Surviving an ancient vampire Master determined to see her twice-dead? Piece of cake. But can Lily ever truly learn to love the woman she'll be forever more? Perfect for fans looking for: a little Halloween spirit body positive representation enemies to lovers vibes


A Girl's Guide to Vampires (Dark Ones Book One)

A Girl's Guide to Vampires (Dark Ones Book One)
Author: Katie MacAlister
Publisher: Hachette UK
Total Pages: 333
Release: 2009-12-15
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 1848942834

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Joy Randall is a girl with big expectations and an even bigger love for vampire romance novels. Unsuccessful so far in her quest to find her soulmate, Joy can’t say no when her friend Roxy suggests a holiday to the Czech Republic. Tall, dark strangers? Tick. Craggy, romantic landscapes? Tick. Hoardes of centuries-old men who want to suck your blood? OK, that’s just Roxy’s over-active imagination. After all, vampires don’t exist . . . do they? Plagued by dreams of a handsome stranger, haunted by a mysterious prophecy, and pursued by three pale, brooding, slightly sinister suitors, Joy isn’t so sure now. Worried about her growing attraction to the enigmatic Raphael, she knows that one thing’s for certain: Mr. Right should not equal Mr. Heading-Right-For-Your-Neck. But can she resist the lure of the Dark Ones? Is her attraction to Raphael just lust . . . or blood lust? And will she find a chosen life partner that is, well, alive? Nowadays, finding The One sure is a pain in the neck . . .


Hunting Prince Dracula

Hunting Prince Dracula
Author: Kerri Maniscalco
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Total Pages: 413
Release: 2017-09-19
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
ISBN: 0316551686

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In this New York Times bestselling sequel to Kerri Maniscalco's haunting #1 debut Stalking Jack the Ripper, bizarre murders are discovered in the castle of Prince Vlad the Impaler, otherwise known as Dracula. Could it be a copycat killer . . . or has the depraved prince been brought back to life? Following the grief and horror of her discovery of Jack the Ripper's true identity, Audrey Rose Wadsworth has no choice but to flee London and its memories. Together with the arrogant yet charming Thomas Cresswell, she journeys to the dark heart of Romania, home to one of Europe's best schools of forensic medicine . . . and to another notorious killer, Vlad the Impaler, whose thirst for blood became legend. But her life's dream is soon tainted by blood-soaked discoveries in the halls of the school's forbidding castle, and Audrey Rose is compelled to investigate the strangely familiar murders. What she finds brings all her terrifying fears to life once again.


Bad Dad Jokes

Bad Dad Jokes
Author: Willow Creek Press
Publisher:
Total Pages: 0
Release: 2018
Genre: American wit and humor
ISBN: 9781682348338

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The dad joke is a delicate thing. Part knowing humor, part lack of humor, it's only requirement is that it elicits not a laugh from its audience but the annoyed response: "Daaaaaaaaad." Bad Dad Jokes is the biggest, baddest collection of "so bad they're actually good" jokes that are guaranteed to deliver a daily dose of groans and giggles. Bad Dad Jokes is a one of a kind collection of extraordinary humor in one book. By giving this collection as a gift you will bring humor and lasting memories to events for years to come.


What Is the Story of Dracula?

What Is the Story of Dracula?
Author: Michael Burgan
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 112
Release: 2020-08-11
Genre: Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN: 1524788473

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Who HQ brings you the stories behind the most beloved--and frightening!--characters of our time. Find out how Dracula--a smooth-talking count with a dark secret--became the infamous creature we all know and fear. From appearances in films and animated features to interpretations as a Muppet and breakfast cereal mascot, Dracula has been the inspiration for many other fictional vampires and is now an established figure in pop culture. Created by Bram Stoker in his 1897 Gothic horror novel, Count Dracula is a nobleman who uses his powers as a vampire to dominate his victims. Even though Dracula didn't succeed in the novel, the fictional character has lived on to dominate the real world as one of its most popular supernatural villains. Author Michael Burgan explores Dracula's mysterious origins in the historical figures who might have shaped the character, as well as the films and actors that cemented Dracula's place in cinematic history.


The Lesser Dead

The Lesser Dead
Author: Christopher Buehlman
Publisher: Penguin
Total Pages: 370
Release: 2014-10-07
Genre: Fiction
ISBN: 0698146328

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WINNER OF THE AMERICAN LIBRARY ASSOCIATION’S BEST HORROR NOVEL OF THE YEAR “As much F. Scott Fitzgerald as Dean Koontz” (#1 New York Times bestselling author Patricia Briggs), Christopher Buehlman excels in twisting the familiar into newfound dread in his “genre-bending” (California Literary Review) novels. Now the acclaimed author of Those Across the River delivers his most disquieting tale yet... The secret is, vampires are real and I am one. The secret is, I’m stealing from you what is most truly yours and I’m not sorry... New York City in 1978 is a dirty, dangerous place to live. And die. Joey Peacock knows this as well as anybody—he has spent the last forty years as an adolescent vampire, perfecting the routine he now enjoys: womanizing in punk clubs and discotheques, feeding by night, and sleeping by day with others of his kind in the macabre labyrinth under the city’s sidewalks. The subways are his playground and his highway, shuttling him throughout Manhattan to bleed the unsuspecting in the Sheep Meadow of Central Park or in the backseats of Checker cabs, or even those in their own apartments who are too hypnotized by sitcoms to notice him opening their windows. It’s almost too easy. Until one night he sees them hunting on his beloved subway. The children with the merry eyes. Vampires, like him…or not like him. Whatever they are, whatever their appearance means, the undead in the tunnels of Manhattan are not as safe as they once were. And neither are the rest of us.